Crash and Burn
by ficnic
Summary: Good news for Reid:  There's no train.  Bad news for Luke:  Reid is murdered.  Bad news for Noah:  He's the prime suspect.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: If I owned ATWT, it would still be on. And all the characters would be gay.

Story notes: AU, set in November, 2010. 1.) No train, obviously; Reid procured the heart for Chris in Bay City, saving his life. 2.) Noah isn't scheduled to go to LA for his film project until after Thanksgiving.

Summary: Noah has a bad day. Luke has a worse one.

* * *

><p><em>Friday November 5th<em>

_Damn Reid Oliver_, Noah thought for the five hundredth time. _Damn him to hell!_

Noah Mayer couldn't believe the man's gall. Just when he thought the guy couldn't be any more of a jackass, he goes and pulls something like _this_. It was bad enough to be indebted to a man that full of himself. It was worse still that the horse's ass in question had stolen Luke!

So, all right, maybe that wasn't exactly accurate, but whatever. And now _this_! Did the jerk live solely to make Noah's life miserable? Noah was supposed to be on his way to L.A., and while not exactly excited at the prospect of going without Luke, the one big perk had been getting the hell away from Reid Oliver.

At least in California, Noah could be fairly certain he wouldn't run into that blowhard at every turn. He could walk into a diner or a coffee shop or anywhere else, and not have to watch Dr. Evil gloat in Noah's face that _he _had Luke, and Noah didn't. Not that the guy exactly boasted, in so many words. He was just _there_, and that was reminder enough.

Noah couldn't miss the irony. Looking at the man who restored his sight should remind Noah what he had gained. Instead, it only ever drove home what he'd lost. _Luke_. Every time the name crossed his mind, his heart gave an aching clench in response. And since Noah still thought about Luke all the damn time, that amounted to a good deal of pain.

There was nothing he could do about that now. Luke had made it clear they were through, though he'd tried to throw Noah the "friends" bone. The most cutting thing of all was, deep down, Noah knew it was his own damn fault.

If he would've just let Luke in during all those months after the accident, they'd be together now. They'd be en route to Los Angeles, full of piss and vinegar, ready to take on the world. Instead, Noah had to leave his dream guy behind to pursue his dream. And it all felt like a damn nightmare.

Now, the bitter icing on the cake of Noah's personal hell was Reid Oliver's latest stunt.

* * *

><p>Tonight was the night.<p>

_The_ night.

Luke Snyder checked his reflection in the mirror one last time. _Not bad_, he decided. Anyway, he knew Reid didn't care. Reid seemed to want him no matter how he looked, or what he was wearing.

It felt incredible.

Luke couldn't help but to bask in the heady bliss of it. To be with a man who wanted him 24/7 no matter what felt phenomenal. Admittedly, he and Reid had never been confronted with the kind of extreme "no matter what"s that he and Noah had...

No. He wouldn't think about that. It was true that Luke and Reid hadn't faced the same severity of obstacles, but that didn't mean they wouldn't prevail if and when they did.

Reid loved him. And Reid was a self-possessed, confident man. He wasn't weighed down by the excess baggage of insecurity and doubt like... _some _people.

No. When it came time for _Reid _and Luke to meet adversity, they would survive. Reid wouldn't push him away to twist in the wind, alone and decimated.

Even as he held this internal conversation with himself, his honest side scolded Luke that he wasn't being fair. Reid was a neurosurgeon, for God's sake. Take _his _eyesight, and sit back to watch the batshit that would necessarily commence.

"Fuck!" Luke didn't want to be fair. He wanted to be _happy_. He'd lost that chance with Noah, and he damn sure wasn't about to let qualms about fairness to his ex ruin his life with Reid.

Tonight, that life would begin in earnest. Luke said he needed time, and Reid had waited more than patiently. Even two months after Reid confessed his love, they still hadn't _made _love.

Reid had, however, made changes. After successfully securing a heart in Bay City for Chris Hughes, Reid moved out of Katie's apartment, making way for a recovering Chris to move in. Luke knew Reid had been excited to get his own place.

Renting a home of his own allowed Reid and Luke to spend time together, without the constant threat of someone strolling through the living room at just the wrong moment. Luke had been grateful for the alone time, too, but continued to hold back. And Reid, while clearly frustrated, never breathed a word of complaint.

Now, it was time. It was time to let go of old dreams and move on, once and for all. Luke knew what prompted this decision.

He'd seen Noah today. Noah, who would soon be on his way out of Oakdale, and really, out of Luke's life, for good. Truthfully, Luke had been purposely avoiding him since their talk at the end of the summer, when Noah took Luke's olive branch of friendship and snapped it in two.

It had stung. Badly. But in the hours after that meeting, Luke's pain morphed into anger. At both Noah, _and _himself.

After the misery he'd survived when Noah had pushed him away during his blindness, Luke thought he'd protected his heart. He'd let go of Noah and started anew with Reid. So how in the _hell _had Noah's latest rejection hurt so fucking much?

Luke's upset was soon soothed by two events. The first was Reid's declaration of love. It had been so straightforward; so devoid of pomp and circumstance. And yet to Luke, it was a life preserver in the sea of his heartbreak.

Reid _loved _him. Reid Oliver, who'd sworn that love was for fools and that he was no kind of fool. Luke clung to Reid's simple admission, wrapping himself within it to feel what he so desperately craved.

The second event was his decision to avoid Noah like the plague he so clearly was on Luke's heart. Luke didn't just distance himself emotionally this time, but physically. He avoided Java, Al's, and anywhere else Noah could potentially turn up.

The last couple of months had been good. Except for the unavoidable sighting at Lily and Holden's remarriage two weeks ago - where they hadn't spoken - Luke stayed the hell away from Noah. He spent every available moment with Reid, and the sharp cut of Noah's dismissal had eventually dulled to a throbbing ache.

But as the date for Noah's departure approached, Luke couldn't resist the impulse to see him one last time. Noah couldn't mask his surprise when Luke walked into Java. Luke went directly to the counter - to Noah. A few moments passed in which both stared, and neither spoke.

Then, finally, Noah broke the moment. "What'll it be?" Luke blinked; it took a moment to sink in.

Noah wasn't going to apologize for cutting Luke from his life. And he wasn't about to ask Luke for anything. Luke's heart plummeted at the realization.

They would never be _them_. There wasno them, anymore. And for fuck's sake, he'd let it happen _again_ - he'd let Noah pierce him once more.

He had fucking strolled into Java with his heart ever-so-slightly ajar, just in case. _Just in case what? Goddammit_, Luke cursed himself as he turned on his heel and walked out.

What had he expected? For Noah to say it was all just water under the bridge, and they could be friends? Luke told himself that was it; that was why was so disappointed.

There was no way in mother-loving hell Luke would admit what he'd _really _wanted Noah to say, one more time.

_Come with me._

* * *

><p>Acute pain shot from the back of Noah's head to his eyes as he awoke. The crush of chaos assaulting his senses menaced his aching mind. Noah grappled with the multitude of competing stimuli, striving to get a grasp on all the <em>what the fuck<em> around him.

The overwhelming stench of burning. The thick fog stinging his eyes. The nausea assaulting his stomach. The searing shine of emergency lights, and their shrill, relentless peal. The commotion of countless upside-down legs walking past his head, bringing realization that he was lying on the ground.

Suddenly, all of it fell away in the wake of the hellish scream. _Luke!_ Noah immediately shot into a sitting position, and was nearly felled by the duel urges to vomit and pass out.

He held on, though. Luke needed him. _Oh God - what the fuck had happened to Luke?_

Noah couldn't see his ex through the suffocating smoke. He tried to stand, but quickly collapsed. Then, he heard the cries - broken, piteous sounds that burst to the very heart of him.

_Oh God Oh God Oh God_. Noah crawled towards the wails through the blanket of smoke, scrambling and crying and stumbling, his fear growing exponentially with every clutch at the ground. Luke was in excruciating pain; that much was certain.

He must be injured. Was he dying? _Oh holy fuck, please God no!_

Noah's throat burned, and he could barely breathe from the smoke and the sobs and the snot blocking his airway. But somehow, he arrived at the shaking form of a soot-faced Luke, who'd pulled his knees to his chest and was rocking himself manically as he sat huddled on the ground. Noah paused before reaching out, scared out of his mind at the sight before him.

Whatever had happened, their lives had changed forever - of that he was sure.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Nope, ATWT characters still not mine. Will let you know when that happens.

Summary: Noah tries to make sense of the chaos surrounding him.

* * *

><p>"Luke?"<p>

Amazingly, Noah whispered the name, as if his voice wouldn't be drowned out by the sheer calamity surrounding them. More incredibly still, Luke heard. Or at least, he sensed Noah's presence, because he slowly lifted his head in response.

Their eyes met. Their _terror _met. Finally, after moments that felt like years, Luke spoke.

"_Noah_..."

He didn't have to say anything else. Noah lunged forward, clutching Luke hard to his chest, gripping him like he would never let him go. Luke burrowed into him, and Noah rocked them _both_, needing to reassure himself just as much as Luke.

He didn't ask Luke what had happened. Noah guessed enough that someone had died - someone important. As he tried to take stock of his environment, it dawned on Noah that he didn't even know where they were, and had no memory of how they'd gotten there.

* * *

><p><em>Earlier that afternoon<em>

Luke had come to Java. That he recalled. They hadn't spoken; not really.

Luke simply opened the door, walked up to the counter, and looked at Noah expectantly. Like he wanted something. Maybe even like he was _owed _something.

Noah couldn't do it. He couldn't put himself out there again. He'd already asked Luke to come with him to Los Angeles; told him he still _loved _him.

Luke's reply had haunted his dreams ever since. _We're not right for each other_. Fuck that. Fuck _Luke_.

As much as he'd cursed Luke for saying it, he eventually conceded Luke might be half right. Maybe Noah _wasn't _right for him. After Noah's accident, Luke had held onto them with everything he had, while Noah pushed him away with equal force.

It was a stalemate they were destined to be trapped within for months, until someone eventually broke. In the end, it was Luke. He finally demanded it stop; that Noah try, too - not just stand at a distance while Luke did the heavy lifting for them both.

But Noah couldn't. He couldn't give Luke what he needed; what he deserved. He couldn't give Luke himself because he wasn't whole anymore, and he wasn't willing to let Luke settle for less than that, even if Luke was.

Of course, _now _he could see his mistakes. Every last turn where he'd gone wrong.

Making decisions without Luke.

Refusing to let him in.

Blaming Luke in the first place.

That last one sat especially badly, because Noah knew from the start that the accident wasn't Luke's doing, but he'd faulted him, anyway. All of the fear, confusion, and pain that had erupted in Noah needed an outlet. And of course, Luke was there, right by his side.

So Noah railed at Luke. He blamed the explosion on the argument they had when Luke had showed up to the set, even though Noah knew full well he had no business trying to rush the filming of such an intricate scene. Noah blamed the need for such haste in the wake of Mason's firing on Luke, too, although he knew it was Mason's own actions that caused his downfall.

Noah justified it to himself when he placed the responsibility for the disaster on Luke. If only Luke hadn't gone to Damien. If only Luke would've just dealt with his Mason issues and let Noah finish the project in peace.

If only Luke had _trusted _him.

That was the real crux of it. Noah knew Luke had every right not to trust Mason. And Luke even told him that Mason had all but taken an ad in the Oakdale Gazette outlining his plans to steal Noah.

But it shouldn't have mattered. _That _was the thing Noah couldn't release; the thing that enabled him to keep blaming Luke for his blindness, however unwarranted. After everything they had gone through, Noah felt like Luke didn't trust him to stay faithful.

Why else would he go behind Noah's back about Mason? Why would he go to Damien, of all people? And why would he lie when Noah confronted him about the DVD?

The only conclusion Noah could draw was that Luke didn't love him enough to believe in him. To have faith that no matter the temptation, Noah would stay true. To come to _him _instead of trust in Damien.

Since they'd gotten together, when had Noah ever strayed? One could hardly count Ameera. He'd married her with Luke just as knee-deep in the scam as Noah.

He'd certainly never touched her, and when Ameera _kissed _him, he told Luke immediately. Just as he did when Zac kissed him. And when Mason admitted his interest, Noah had fled to Luke's side, confiding everything.

So why the hell didn't Luke trust in him? Yeah, Mason had pecked his forehead in a roomful of people, and Luke saw it on the DVD. But it wasn't like Noah had gotten a moment alone with Luke to give him a play-by-play before the discovery.

Did that justify Luke's betrayal? Had Noah failed him in some way? The thing that tortured Noah most was that the feeling it all happened because he somehow still didn't measure up; that he wasn't enough for Luke.

If he was, wouldn't Luke have believed in him? The endless whys and what-ifs tortured Noah with every recollection of the accident. And since he'd been blinded by it, _most_ of his time was spent remembering the accident.

Inevitably, he and Luke were doomed.

* * *

><p>What had Luke wanted when he'd come to Java, anyway? Did he anticipate an apology from Noah? A change-of-heart assuring that they would stay friends?<p>

Noah didn't know, and he didn't ask. The scars of their last meeting had effectively crippled any attempt he might make to reconnect with Luke. He didn't think his weary heart could survive another rebuff.

So he'd treated Luke like any customer, though he'd been less friendly and more formal. It was all he could manage. When Luke responded by walking right back out, Noah was struck by a terrifying thought:

_I'll never see him again._

* * *

><p>It was funny how you could believe something one moment, only to have it turned on its head a few hours later. Noah remembered what <em>real <em>terror was now. He hadn't felt this out-of-his-mind petrified since the Colonel had tried to kill Luke.

The prospect of never seeing Luke again paled in comparison to the idea of there being no Luke _to _see. As he continued to clinch Luke tightly, Noah tried to control his own shudders at the thought. He didn't need to freak out Luke any more than he already was.

"It's ok, Luke. I've got you," he whispered soothingly, combing his fingers through Luke's hair. "No matter what."

Luke stilled, then pulled back, searching Noah's eyes. Whatever he sought, he didn't find it. "You don't remember, do you?"

Surprised Luke had discerned that, Noah shook his head to in confirmation. "No. What happened...," Noah trailed off, not even really knowing what to ask.

"The fire," Luke began, then broke down all over again. As Noah continued to hold him, he strained his eyes, trying to see where they were through the cover of smoke. There were other homes close by, though he couldn't make them out well.

So, _not _the farm, thank God. Were they at Luke's house? He didn't see any other Snyders, then remembered Luke's parents were out of town.

"It's Reid," Luke said in a strangled voice. He struggled to say more as Noah finally got a grasp on their surroundings, now recognizing they were outside of Reid's place. Then Luke abruptly froze.

Following his line of vision, Noah spotted the body bag being removed from the burned structure. Either ignorant of Luke's relationship to the victim or unable to see him at all, the paramedics wheeled the gurney right past them, en route to a waiting emergency vehicle. Luke was inconsolable.

"Reid! _REID!_" His futile screams exploded into the cruel night sky, sailing away on the vindictive breeze that had fueled the murderous flames. He made no move to follow the procession, though. Luke knew Reid was gone. No, not gone; _dead_. Just like that.

Luke turned his attention back to Noah, who was still cradling him, yet seemed to be entirely unaware of it. Noah's eyes had clearly followed the gurney, too, and his face was suspended in horrified disbelief at the gruesome sight. Luke placed his hands on Noah's face, trying to return the comfort he'd received.

Noah's mind was reeling. As he watched them remove Reid's body from the scene, he got a flash of memory. In it, he had been livid with the neurosurgeon, and was stomping through the hospital on his way to confront the man.

The memory formed more fully just as Noah began to lose consciousness. Before slipping into oblivion, he recalled the thought that had gripped him in that moment:

_Reid Oliver is a dead man._


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own ATWT or its characters.

Note: Thank you Jessie 33 for sharing your thoughts on the previous chapters.

Summary: Luke and Noah face the aftermath of a tragedy.

* * *

><p>Earlier that evening, Luke had been so nervous driving over to Reid's, contemplating the impending consummation of their romance. Reid was older and more experienced. Would Luke meet his expectations?<p>

Or would Luke disappoint him? And how would Reid compare with Noah? Oh, shit. What if Luke _thought _of Noah? Aggravated, he switched the car stereo on at a high volume, hoping its clamor would thwart any misguided attempts to think at all.

As Luke neared Reid's block, he heard the blast, then saw the smoke. Closing in on Reid's place, Luke's body was overtaken with fear. He arrived to find that fear warranted; Reid's house was engulfed.

* * *

><p>Luke sat by Noah's bedside clutching his hand, trying to process all that had happened. Reid, dead. Noah, unconscious. And Luke himself had nearly died in the fire.<p>

To recover from the smoke inhalation, the doctors had prescribed oxygen and fluids for both boys, who seemed otherwise uninjured. Yet, Noah hadn't woken up. Luke was assured that he would; that his body just needed more time to recover.

Still, the longer Luke waited, the more concerned he became. Especially in light of the suddenness of Reid's death, Luke needed to make certain Noah _would _wake up.

"Noah," he implored. "Just open your eyes... wake up."

His plea was answered as slowly, Noah's eyes blinked once, then again to open for good. "Luke?"

Luke squeezed his hand. "Yes bubby," he said softly. "It's me."

They simultaneously realized Luke had used the old endearment, but neither addressed it. Instead, Luke continued, his voice nearly a whisper.

"Thank you for saving me, but next time? _Please _don't try and be a hero."

At Noah's look of confusion, Luke explained.

"When I got to Reid's place tonight, the fire was already out of control. I tried to find Reid-"

"You went inside? Luke, you could've been killed!"

An incredulous look skittered across Luke's face. "You're one to talk!" Then, he paused, struggling to relate the rest of the night's events. "Noah, I found Reid. He was face down in the kitchen. I didn't know if he was even alive, but I tried to get to him...," Luke paused, overcome by the horror of the memory. He collected himself before going on.

"There was so much smoke; I must've passed out. When I woke up, you were dragging me outside. I tried to go back in but I was so weak, I couldn't stand. When I told you Reid was still inside, you went back, Noah. You went back for Reid."

While Luke quietly cried over Reid's death and Noah's courage, Noah scrambled to recall any of these events, and failed. Why couldn't he remember anything? Finally, he spoke.

"I didn't get him, though..." he said in realization; softly, apologetically.

"Noah, no - it's not your fault! You tried; the smoke was too much for anyone. Thank God Jack got there when he did! He pulled you out just before the house collapsed..."

Luke couldn't go on. Noah didn't need him to. He just reached out, and Luke accepted the invitation, leaning into Noah's embrace.

* * *

><p>A short while later, Luke was asked to step outside as a doctor checked out Noah one last time before giving him the all clear to leave. Luke tried to order his thoughts, knowing he needed to contact those close to Reid. He was disturbed to find it was a short list.<p>

Reid had no relatives he was in touch with. He had mentioned an uncle in Brooklyn, but they hadn't spoken in years. Luke would have to try to locate the man, as Reid's only known next-of-kin.

Who else?

Katie. Unlike anyone else in Oakdale, she had achieved the unthinkable, taking to Reid immediately. She had laughingly recounted their first meeting to Luke, relating that she had sought Reid's help with Jacob, only to initially be shot down. But instead of writing Reid off like most did, Katie persisted, and had easily inserted herself in Reid's life before he'd even known what hit him.

Finally, Bob and Kim. Luke knew Reid respected Bob more than anyone in Oakdale, and that regard had been returned. After Reid's 11th-hour save to secure a heart for Chris and give him a new lease on life, Kim's skeptical attitude towards Reid did an abrupt 180.

Her gratitude had known no bounds. Reid loudly complained he never knew when the woman was lying in wait around some hospital corner or other, ready to unleash an unprovoked hug at any moment. Luke feigned sympathy, but they both knew Reid secretly loved it.

Luke dropped into a chair in the corridor, and withdrew his mobile to make the difficult but necessary calls.

"Luke."

Looking up, he saw Bob Hughes walking towards him. The retired physician waved Luke off when he moved to stand, and took the chair beside him. It was clear from the stricken expression that he'd already heard the news.

"I'm so sorry," Bob offered. "Reid wasn't just a great surgeon. He was a truly good man."

At the sincerity in Bob's voice, the enormity of the loss came flooding back into Luke's psyche. When Noah had been unconscious, Luke had focused on making sure he was all right. Now, Luke was forced to mentally confront the reality that Reid was really gone.

"Thank you," he finally answered. "You're one of the few people who knew that."

"I don't think that's true. After what Reid did for Chris, I think a lot of people saw him in a new light-"

"Just Kim," Luke interrupted. "This is a small town, Bob. I know what most people said. They thought he did it to boost his chances for Chief of Staff."

Luke sighed heavily, frustrated with the narrow attitudes that still permeated Oakdale. Admittedly, Reid had arrived under less than ideal circumstances, and initially made no effort to foster ties with the locals. By the time he'd decided to stay, most had pegged him as an arrogant jerk with an overly developed ego.

_Which he was. _Luke couldn't help the small tug of amusement. But that wasn't _all_ Reid was.

Yet most of Oakdale, who'd forgiven its other citizens for a litany of crimes ranging from adultery to murder, hadn't given Reid Oliver the time of day. Luke suspected his greatest crime wasn't that he was cocky; it was that he was so openly gay. While Luke was mostly accepted in the community - outwardly, at least - he always had the feeling that had much to do with his family ties.

The Snyders were a well-loved, salt-of-the-earth family who'd farmed their land and been good neighbors for generations. And Lucinda Walsh wasn't just a titan of the community, but of the business world. Luke felt most simply overlooked his sexual orientation as a gesture of respect to his family.

Then there was Noah. If there was a lower-key homosexual west of the Mississippi, Luke hadn't met him. Initially, of course, there was his refusal to even acknowledge that he was gay.

But even after coming out, Noah didn't offend the sensibilities of Oakdale snobbery, because he was still him. And Noah simply _was _low-key. He was polite, worked hard, and was willing to pitch in when a local citizen or cause needed a helping hand. He never sought to draw attention to himself, or competed to be the life of the party. Luke used to tease Noah that he was, in short, the perfect Oakdale Gay.

Reid Oliver? Not so much. In the beginning, people were simply offended by his utter disregard for socially expected courtesies, or what Reid would term - bullshit.

When he and Luke started dating, however, Luke noticed a difference; people seemed more visibly put off by his boyfriend. Reid had no trace of aversion to PDAs, and could plant a hot, hard kiss on Luke with no thought of where they were, or who might see. Having grown up in Oakdale, even the out-and-proud Luke was somewhat taken aback, at first.

He couldn't help but enjoy it, though. Still, if the looks they often received were anything to go by, Luke knew most of Oakdale didn't feel so accepting. _They_ could do without Reid's unapologetic homosexuality, thank you very much.

Luke's thoughts were interrupted by Bob. "Reid helped a lot of people," the other man insisted. "He healed many who'd lost all hope. You may be surprised to find how missed he'll be."

Luke swallowed back the welling emotion before answering gratefully. "I needed to hear that."

Bob nodded. "Kim sends her love, too. She's grown very fond of Dr. Oliver. Please let us know when services are arranged. I'll get the word out to Reid's colleagues."

"Of course," Luke agreed.

Bob regarded Luke thoughtfully, then asked, "When are your parents due back?"

More people Luke would have to call. The recently reconciled couple were on a month-long honeymoon in Europe. He knew his parents wouldn't be personally hurt by the news (they would be more concerned with he and Noah's conditions), but they loved Luke.

They would at least be devastated on his behalf. Still, he didn't want them cutting their trip short. Lily and Holden were finally back together, and the last thing they needed to start off their new life was for their honeymoon to be disrupted by a funeral.

To be honest, Luke didn't want them coming home to stand vigil over him. He needed space to breathe, not the Lily Walsh Maternal Suffocation Special. Luke would call Holden, hope he understood, and try to enlist his help in convincing Lily to stay put.

"Two weeks," Luke replied.

"I imagine that will change, but if you need any help with arranging services, or anything at all, please don't hesitate to contact Kim or I."

Luke extended a small smile at the man's kindness. "Thanks, Bob." A thought occurred to Luke. "Actually, if you would consider giving the eulogy..."

Bob blinked, surprised. "You don't want to do that yourself?"

Luke shook his head. "I don't think I _can_. I'm not ready to say goodbye. I can say a few words, but give a tribute to his whole life? It's just too soon... it's too much..."

Bob understood. "I would be privileged to speak in honor of Reid's life. Truly." Extending his hand to grasp Luke's, Bob stood. "Again, I'm so very sorry for your loss."

Luke stood too, returning the handshake and giving Bob a curt nod. "I appreciate it."

They parted ways. Somehow, talking to Bob had helped. Bob gave a damn about Reid, and Luke had really needed to share the loss with someone who did. Now, though, he dreaded sharing it with someone _else _who did - Katie.

In a coincidence of timing, Dr. Chris Hughes walked by in an adjoining corridor. He hadn't seen Luke, but Luke knew he could catch up quickly. He needed to find out if Katie had been informed of Reid's death.

Spotting Chris at a water cooler, Luke began to approach. He was halted, however, by the crass words of the colleague speaking to Chris. "Well, at least _now_ you'll be Chief of Staff," the man said in a tone that could only be classified as amusement.

Luke wanted to strike the unknown doctor, but restrained himself. At least Chris would tell the guy where to go. He'd tell him not to disrespect the man who'd saved Chris's life.

"I damn well should've been over that prick in the first place," Chris answered.

Instantaneously, every muscle in Luke's body froze. It was like ice-cold water had been shot through his veins. Chris could _not _have just said that.

"Well, it didn't help when Daddy backed him over you with the board," the stranger contributed.

"Shut the fuck up, Evans!" Chris shot the man a death glare. Luke realized that although he could see them around the corner, his presence had yet to be detected by either man. He continued to watch the scene unfold, as a sick feeling did the same in the pit of his stomach.

"Hey man, chill," Evans returned. "You got a raw deal but now it's over. Doctor Dickweed went up in flames - literally!"

"Don't be disgusting, Evans," Chris said hotly. _Thank God_, Luke thought. Chris must've been thrown by Reid's death, too, but at least he'd gotten his wits about him.

"What? It's not like you care," Evans argued.

"Of course not," Chris agreed, to Luke's absolute horror. "If fate wants to right a wrong, who am I to argue? But it's not good politics to rejoice over your colleague's demise. You've gotta play the game smarter than that if you wanna get ahead, Evans."

Before Luke could even process what he'd just witnessed, the two men walked off in the opposite direction. They'd never seen Luke, and for that he was glad. He didn't know what he'd have done if Chris Hughes had spoken to him, but he suspected it almost certainly would've involved bodily harm to Katie's fiancée.

* * *

><p>Noah stepped into the hallway after getting the all-clear to leave the hospital. Luke wasn't there, so he took a nearby chair to wait for his return. Though he'd been given painkillers, he still had the headache.<p>

Every time he tried to recall the fire, his pain worsened, but he didn't mention his memory loss to the physician examining him. Noah knew that would only punch his one-way ticket to overnight accommodations at Memorial for a slew of tests. But he needed to be free to be there for Luke.

Noah wanted to go home, crawl into bed, and pull the covers over his head. But that wasn't an option. Whatever his physical ache, it paled in comparison to the pain Luke must be in.

He would take Luke home, and stay with him. There was no way Noah was leaving Luke to mourn alone, even if he couldn't stand Reid Oliver. The guy was dead... Noah pushed away the nagging recollection of having _wished _the guy dead, for some reason he didn't know.

Hearing footsteps, Noah looked up. It was Margo, not Luke.

She addressed Noah. "Are you and Luke all right?"

"Yeah. Mostly in shock, I think, but we're fine. We're just gonna go home-"

"Actually, I'm gonna need you to come down to the station, answer some questions."

Noah briefly closed his eyes at the throb of pain _that _thought brought on. "Now? Can't it wait until tomorrow?"

Margo shook her head. "You two were the only witnesses on the scene. You were the last ones to see Reid alive-"

"I haven't seen Reid in weeks," Noah interjected. "I don't know how much help I can be."

"That's all right," Margo countered. "Whatever you guys can tell us, it's best to do it while it's still fresh in your mind. Even accidents have to be investigated."

"Ok. I'll find Luke." Noah didn't mention that very little was fresh in _his _mind. He figured the sooner they got it over with, the sooner he and Luke could go home, and at least _try _to decompress from the unbelievable events of the evening.

* * *

><p>"Noah." The plaintive whisper awoke Noah from a tortured slumber riddled with nightmares that felt more like bad memories. Noah opened his eyes and tried to right his confusion. He took in his surroundings - Ethan's room.<p>

"Luke," he replied. He had gone home with Luke and insisted on staying. Luke's parents were away, and his siblings were at the farm with Emma. "What time is it?"

A pause. Luke finally looked around from his position seated on the corner of the bed, as if he'd only just remembered what a clock was. "Three."

There was another pause, while a desolate-faced Luke seemed to struggle with how to explain himself. He repeated the word. It was the best he could come up with. "_Noah_..."

Awake now, Noah understood. He lifted the covers. Luke climbed in, turning his back towards Noah.

Wrapping the blankets around them both, Noah pulled Luke into him. He felt the tension in Luke's body subside. They both fell back to sleep quickly.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own ATWT or its characters.

Note: Thanks to Jessie 33 and all who are reading.

Summary: Revelations come to light in the days following Reid's death.

* * *

><p><em>Monday, November 8th - Three days after Reid's death<em>

The memorial service was held sans Reid's body. Since Reid died on a Friday night, and the weekday coroner still had to go through the motions of officially determining a cause of death, the body was still in their custody.

Luke didn't care. Reid was gone. _He'd_ hardly give a damn if his body showed up to note the occasion.

True to his promise, Bob had spread word of the service to the Memorial staff. Judging by the surprising size of the crowd, Luke suspected Bob hadn't issued an invitation so much as an edict. Bob's retirement hadn't lessened his influence one iota.

He was even pinch-hitting as acting COS at the hospital board's request. Of course, most expected Chris Hughes to be named the new chief in the wake of Reid's death. It sickened Luke as he watched that jackass comfort a distraught Katie, pretending to give a damn about her loss.

Only when Noah squeezed his hand back did Luke register that he'd been crushing Noah's. He looked up apologetically, only to receive an understanding nod in return. Luke had told Noah what he overheard Chris say about Reid.

Looking back to Katie, Luke found that she was watching him, too. She looked disappointed in Luke. He realized she was interpreting Luke and Noah's handholding as a betrayal of Reid.

She had every right to. Luke had only been able to reach his mother's phone. Predictably, she immediately began rattling off plans to teleport back to Oakdale.

Luke couldn't deal with that. He was unwilling to hurt her with the truth - _Mom, thanks but no thanks, I know damn well you hated _Reid. In desperation, he grasped for a lie.

When Lily insisted on coming home to help Luke bury his boyfriend, Luke said Reid _wasn't _his boyfriend. He claimed that Noah had again asked Luke to accompany him to Los Angeles, and this time, Luke said yes. He pretended that he'd broken up with Reid to be with Noah.

Lily was shocked, but he could hear the small tinge of satisfaction in her voice. She didn't relent immediately, however. Luke had to further embellish the tale by telling her that he and Reid had fought, and they were not on good terms when he died.

He let himself sound sad, but not _too _sad. The coup d'état of his performance was telling Lily he really needed to spend this time with Noah. At least when Luke talked about how good it felt to lean on Noah for support, _that_ wasn't a lie.

Luke was equally amazed and appalled at how skillfully he played his mother. He felt every bit Damien's son in that moment. Yet he decided in this instance, for him the end justified the means.

Besides his distaste at having asserted his Grimaldi side, there were other problems with the story he'd fashioned. For starters, he'd had to tell Noah. He knew Lily would call him to check on Luke, so they had to be on the same page.

Thankfully, Noah didn't scold him for lying to Lily. He even concurred there was no other way to prevent her return. He only asked Luke a few questions about the bullshit timeline of the imaginary events, then jumped in feet first to join Luke chin-deep in the lie. Luke didn't acknowledge to himself that Noah going along with another of Luke's probably ill-conceived schemes felt nice - just like the old days.

The big problem that emerged was that even from Europe, Oakdale gossip spread fast. After the fire, Katie had stopped by Luke's house, expecting to commiserate. It was true that she'd heard from Margo who'd heard from Jack who'd heard from Holden who'd heard from Lily that Luke and Reid had been broken up for almost two weeks.

Katie hadn't believed it; Reid would've said something to her. The day of the fire, she had only just arrived home after visiting family in California, but she'd spoken to Reid several times by phone while she was away. Katie felt sure she would've sensed something was wrong, and deemed the rumor of Reid and Luke's breakup was just that - a rumor.

Until a shirtless Noah Mayer answered Luke's door the morning after Reid's death, clad only in his boxers. Katie had stuttered and sputtered and struggled to form words. The ridiculous one that flew from her mouth was "_Chest_!"

A confused Noah nonetheless invited her in. She hurriedly made nonsensical excuses and left, her mind reeling. She had been so worried about Luke, all while he was taking advantage of his parents' absence to fuck Noah Mayer all over the Lilypad.

At the memory, Katie's expression soured into disgust while her eyes were still trained on Luke. In response, Luke cringed. He'd only intended to spare himself maternal intervention with his deception - not hurt Katie further.

It was bad enough she was stuck with that douchebag she didn't realize was a douchebag. It was worse still that she had lost one of her closest and most valued friends. Luke was ashamed at himself for indulging so much in his own grief, he hadn't considered the very real and scarring ramifications of Lily spreading word of his supposed breakup.

Watching the silent not-quite-interaction between Katie and Luke, Noah released his hand. They weren't helping. Luke looked to Noah, and their unspoken message was clear: _we have to tell her_.

* * *

><p>"Just take your time." Jack sat in the living room of Reid's next-door neighbor, watching as the woman sifted through pictures of various men in an attempt to identify Reid's final visitor. Finally, the elderly lady stopped at a photo, pointing to the man pictured.<p>

"Him," she said decisively.

Jack tried not to visibly balk. "Are you _sure_?"

"Perfectly. I may be old, but the vision's 20/20, Detective."

* * *

><p>"Agent Hawkes," the imposing man said in answer to his mobile.<p>

Across the desk, another man listened to the one-sided conversation.

"Yes... what kind of tip... do they have anything else... find out what they know... thanks."

Hawkes shut his phone, then updated the other man. "They're bringing him in for questioning. Probably an arrest. What do you want us to do?"

The second man knew it wasn't technically his decision; he was being extended a courtesy. One he planned to use. "Stop it."

* * *

><p>Luke walked downstairs, finding the living room empty. He guessed that Noah was still changing after the wake. In fact, Luke had changed speedily, wanting to call Katie as soon as possible, and set up a meeting to come clean with her.<p>

Her number went straight to voicemail, though. Luke didn't doubt she was ignoring his calls. He would just have to show up at her apartment, and convince her to let him explain.

A knock at the door grabbed his attention. Luke sighed, not thrilled at the prospect of company. He wished Noah had come downstairs already so he wouldn't have to deal with whoever it was.

Immediately, he realized that was unfair. Noah had taken up residence at the house since Reid's death, refusing to leave Luke's side. For that, Luke was unendingly grateful.

Still, Luke knew he'd been taking advantage. It had been one thing letting Noah handle all visitors, prepare all meals, and make sure Luke remembered such trivialities as showering and dressing. But only Luke knew the full extent of what he'd dumped on Noah.

* * *

><p><em>Saturday, November 6th - the afternoon following Reid's death<em>

It was inexcusable, really. Anyone who cared about Reid _or _Noah would likely be horrified to learn what Luke had done. Faced with the prospect of planning Reid's funeral, Luke tried to set himself to the task.

Within five minutes, he had buckled. He couldn't do it. Luke broke down, sobbing into Noah's shirt that he couldn't handle it and that he wasn't going to do it, before storming off and locking himself in his room.

Noah followed, and rapped softly on the door. In response, Luke screamed, "GO AWAY!" Noah did, and didn't return.

Luke stayed holed up in hiding for _ten _hours, just thinking, and trying _not_ to think. He grappled to accept this new reality, then did his best to push it away, writing it off as a nightmare he just needed to wake up from. Luke knew Noah must've left. He felt it served him right after his behavior when Noah had only tried to help him.

At midnight, Luke emerged from his room, and paddled across the hall. He wanted to lie in Ethan's bed, where he had felt so safe in Noah's arms the night before. He was shocked to discover Noah asleep in the room once again.

As if floating through a dream, Luke repeated his actions of the previous evening. He softly lowered himself to sit on the corner of the bed. Then, he whispered a plea.

"_Noah_."

Noah opened his eyes immediately. He hadn't been as deep in slumber this night. Wordlessly, he lifted the blankets once more, enhancing Luke's surreal sense of déjà vu.

Again, Luke climbed in, and allowed Noah to spoon him. Again, Luke's apprehension began to calm. This time, though, neither man fell asleep right away, both suspended within their thoughts.

"I'm sorry," Luke finally said, breaking the long minutes of silence.

Behind him, Noah answered. "It's all right."

Luke refused to absolve himself. "No, it's not. I treated you like crap, and I wasted a whole day. I still need to plan the funeral-"

"It's done."

Luke's brain halted. _What? _"What are you talking about?" Noah's simple statement began to sink in. "Are you telling me _you_...?"

Luke couldn't even finish the sentence; the mere thought was inconceivable. Luke sat up and turned to face Noah. Noah sat up, too, and Luke saw that he looked like Luke felt. Completely spent, both physically and emotionally.

For some reason that eluded Luke, he began to cry. He couldn't even say why. "I don't understand," he tried to explain.

"I know," Noah said calmly, as he took Luke into his arms. "I'll catch you up in the morning, ok? "

Luke nodded. He had no more energy to think tonight, anyway. When they woke, Noah would bring him up to speed on the preparations he'd handled.

Asking Jack to fly to Brooklyn to find and notify Reid's uncle. Getting the man to sign the release form allowing Luke to make final arrangements. Making the necessary calls to schedule the church and the pastor. Asking Casey to extend his Oakdale visit for the funeral, because Luke needed his best friend. Even enlisting Emma to host the wake.

Relating all that could wait. For now, Noah eased them both to lie back down. Pressed against Noah's chest, wrapped securely within his arms, Luke was finally able to find enough peace to rest once more.

* * *

><p><em>Monday, November 8th - Three days after Reid's death, continued<em>

Luke answered the door, preparing to quickly send whoever it was packing. The downside of unloading all responsibility onto Noah - besides the obvious strain on Noah - was that Luke hadn't bothered to form a coping mechanism to deal with the necessities of etiquette within the crush of grief. In other words, he was fairly sure he was about to bite someone's head off.

Upon opening the door to Margo, however, those plans changed. Knowing she would have information on what happened to Reid, he moved aside to let her through. She stepped into the living room, then got straight to the point.

"I'm really sorry to have to tell you this. As you know... a body was recovered... and the remains have been positively ID'd - as Reid."

Though Luke had expected as much, he shook his head, wanting to deny what they both knew was true. Luke took a moment to gather himself, then asks the question he's not sure he wants the answer to. "Did he suffer?"

Observing the fear and pain in Luke's eyes at the question, Margo struggled to respond. She couldn't tell him anything that would compromise her investigation. Finally, she decided not to address the question, instead asking one of her own.

"Is Noah here?"

Luke balked. To say that particular reply had been unexpected would be an understatement. "Yeah... why?"

The footsteps descending the staircase signaled Noah's timely arrival. When two pairs of eyes landed on him, Noah asked the obvious question. "What's going on?"

Margo stepped forward. "I need you to come back down to the station for further questioning. There are some discrepancies between your story and another witness statement. We just need to clear things up."

"Sure, no problem," Noah said evenly, as his eyes met Margo's. They immediately reached an understanding. _Let's not worry Luke_.

Too distracted to follow the subtext, an annoyed Luke spoke up. "Seriously? He can't do this some other time? We just got back from the wake. And you _didn't _answer my question," Luke reminded.

"I'm sorry," Margo offered, giving Luke a sympathetic smile. "We don't have a complete report from the coroner yet, and that kind of speculation would be irresponsible."

It occurred to Noah that he knew Casey's mom better than he'd realized - because he knew damn well she was lying.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own ATWT or its characters.

Note: Thanks to all who are continuing to follow this story, especially Jessie33.

Summary: Luke visits Katie, while Noah visits the station.

* * *

><p>Luke hadn't been thrilled, but he'd grudgingly agreed to catch up with Noah after seeing Katie. Noah argued that if they both did what they needed to now, they could have the evening free to wind down. Knowing he couldn't put off talking to Katie, Luke finally agreed he would let Noah go, but immediately meet with him at the station once he and Katie had spoken.<p>

Now, Luke sat on Katie's sofa, having convinced her to at least hear him out. He impatiently awaited her return to the living room as she tended to a crying Jacob. He loved the little boy, but Luke needed to do this and get out of here.

The kid had seriously crap timing. So did his toys, come to think of it. Luke chuckled softly as he remembered making out with Reid on this very couch.

Only to be thwarted by a baby rattle, serving as an unwelcome reminder that privacy wasn't guaranteed, should anyone come home at the wrong time. Even if they'd moved things into the bedroom, Luke and Reid hadn't wanted their first lovemaking experience to involve hearing Katie return home with a potentially crying Jacob. Of course, they'd had no way to know then - there wouldn't _be _a first experience.

Luke had held back for too long. He needed to wait, so they waited. What the hell had he been waiting _for_? Reid to magically morph into Noah?

Luke slapped the galling thought away in his head. Of course that wasn't it. He just hadn't been with anyone but Noah, and needed more time to adjust. Reid understood; he didn't judge Luke for it.

The front door swung open, jarring Luke from his thoughts. "Katie, you're not gonna believe his, but they're about to arrest Noah Mayer for Reid's murder..." Upon seeing Luke, both Chris' walk and his words stopped dead.

Katie rushed from Jacob's room, horrified. "What?" She looked from a stunned Chris to a horrified Luke, to whom she directed another question. "Did you know anything about this?"

"No!" Luke's mind ping-ponged. "Margo came by and said she had to get something straight with Noah's statement about the fire...," he trailed off.

He felt sideswiped. Margo suspected Reid was murdered, and hadn't said a word. She sure as hell didn't mention she was accusing Noah!

With sudden clarity, it dawned on Luke that he couldn't tell Katie what he'd come to say. That would make everything _worse_, not better. Wordlessly, he pushed past Chris to rush out of the apartment. Katie left Chris to stay with Jacob as she followed, jumping into Luke's car sans invitation. Without argument, Luke started the car, and they raced to the police station.

* * *

><p>Casey waited at Margo's desk. He was supposed to meet his mom for lunch this afternoon. Twenty minutes ago, and she had yet to show.<p>

Jack said she was bringing in a suspect, but was short on the details. Casey smiled at the mental image of his mom taking down some nefarious dirtbag or other in her mission to keep the streets of Oakdale safe. That smile was effectively wiped from his face when his Mom finally walked in, and the alleged dirtbag in her company turned out to be Noah Mayer.

Immediately, Casey jumped up from the chair. "Mom - what the _hell_?"

Closing her eyes briefly to stave off her annoyance, she replied coolly, "Casey, you know the drill. This is police business. In other words, none of _your _business. You'll have to go now."

"No way!" Casey had placed himself in between his mom and Noah, as if he could protect his friend simply by blocking Margo's path to him. "If you're questioning Noah, I'm sitting in." As Margo began to object, Casey added, "or I'm calling Dad right now to come down here and represent Noah."

_Fuck_, Margo thought. Her son was a little shit sometimes. She knew his heart was in the right place, but Casey was interfering in her investigation. Worse still, he had won this round. Because if her husband was brought in, not only would the kid not be answering any questions; life at home would be _hell_ if she and Tom were on opposite sides of a murder investigation.

"Fine," Margo relented. "_If _it's all right with Noah."

"It is," Noah quickly assured. Whatever was going on, he'd had enough dealings with the Oakdale PD to know one thing. It wasn't good. Noah was glad to at least have someone he could count on there with him.

In the interrogation room, Noah asked the first question as he stood across the table from Casey's mom.

"I already made my statement - why can't I leave?"

Margo's hands gripped the chair in front of her. "A lot of people heard you blasting Reid at the hospital. It sure sounded like you wanted him dead." Noah's expression managed to look simultaneously surprised and guilty.

Unbeknownst to Margo, Noah didn't recall saying those things. He did, however, have that sliver of memory wishing the man dead. His head began to ache as he strained to recall anything more.

"In fact, several witnesses heard you threaten Reid's life," Margo continued.

Noah decided to bait Margo with his next question. He needed information. "What difference does it make? The guy died in a fire."

Margo knew Noah was fishing, and was surprised by such a tactic from the usually direct young man. Intrigued, she explained further. "We have evidence suggesting arson. So the question becomes, who would want Reid Oliver dead?"

Margo watched Noah to gauge his reaction. Incredibly, he seemed to have tuned out of the conversation entirely. He no longer met her eyes, and his stare was blank... distant.

In his mind, Noah was assaulted by a flash of recollection. In it, he remembered having angrily knocked on Reid's office door. Though he exerted himself to try and recall more, nothing else came.

Mentally returning to the present, Noah looked up to find both Margo and Casey staring at him. _Yeah_, he mused - _that's about right_. _I must look every bit as crazy as I feel_. Realizing the implications of what Margo had said, Noah cut to the chase.

"Are you saying I'm a suspect?"

Margo's answer was equally blunt. "Yeah."

Casey interjected, "that's totally fucked up!"

"Casey!" As a policewoman, Margo was mightily annoyed at his interference, and as his mother, at his language. Nevermind the choice words that went through her own mind at this mess.

Margo turned her attention to Noah. "You already lied about seeing Reid before the fire. A witness places you at the scene earlier, banging on Reid's front door until he let you in. And Reid's secretary says you stormed into his office earlier the same day, and the two of you quarreled. Do you deny it?"

Noah looked at Casey for reassurance. Instead, observing the look on his friend's face, Noah realized two things. One, that Casey knew something. And two, that Casey was sitting on it to protect Noah.

"I don't know," Noah finally said.

Margo slapped the table in frustration. "I agreed to allow Casey in here in return for your cooperation," she said in aggravation. "Since I'm not getting it-"

"No, I mean that literally," Noah clarified. "I really _don't _know. I don't remember any of that."

Margo was beginning to acquire a headache of her own. "_That's _the defense you want to go with? The ever-popular 'Oakdale Amnesia'? You're going to have to do better than that, Noah."

She was really annoyed now. Margo had expected to bring Noah in long enough to get some reasonable explanation for his withholding the truth about fighting with Reid. Instead, she got _this _stunt - one she'd seen a few too many times in this town.

"Mom," Casey said, watching Noah closely. "He's serious."

Margo knew her son enough to know he was telling the truth, at least about this. He believed Noah. She looked at Noah again, and had to admit what the prevailing emotion she found there was: bewilderment.

_Well, shit_, Margo thought to herself. _Lucky me to get the one suspect with bona fide memory loss_. Margo groaned slightly, feeling her day just got a whole lot longer.

Making a decision, she turned back to Casey. "So what do _you _know about all this?"

"Me? Nothing," Casey answered; too quickly, in Margo's eyes.

Margo decided to teach Casey a choice word of her own. "Cut the bullshit; let's have it."

Casey didn't know whether to be more shocked at his mom correctly discerning he was hiding something (usually, she was _so _daft), or at the fact she'd cursed in front of him. He realized she must really be ticked off. Still, however she would punish him for it (an arrest for obstruction of justice crossed his mind), there was no way he was throwing Noah under the bus.

"Tell her," Noah advised quietly. "Tell us both. I need to know what happened."

"Noah," Casey answered, trying to convey in his tone that this would _not _be a good idea. Seeing that Noah was ignoring the hint, Casey admitted the problem aloud. "That _won't _help you. Trust me."

Both Margo and Noah were thrown by the statement. Did Noah really have reason to worry? Neither of them wanted to believe that.

"The sooner we get to the bottom of things, the better," Margo assured.

"Unless _you _just use it to make Noah look guilty," Casey accused his mother, much to her chagrin. He had seen Margo charge the wrong person too many times, and he didn't want that happening to Noah.

Noah was starting to feel panic, though. "Jesus, Casey! Did I do something to Reid?"

"No! Of course not," Casey replied emphatically. He turned back to his mom to plead with her. "He _didn't_! He just... Reid pissed him off, that's all."

Noah placed a hand on Casey's shoulder, encouraging him to continue. "Go ahead," he urged.

First, Casey questioned Noah. "What's the last thing you remember before the fire?"

Noah thought back. "I don't remember the fire. Just waking up outside of it. Before that..." He trailed off, trying to recall. Though he'd now had two flashes of having been at the hospital, he had no other memory of his time there, nor any idea why he'd even gone there at all.

"Java," Noah finally answered. "I was at work, cleaning up from the lunch crowd."

Margo coaxed Noah. "Go on."

"And... I don't know. It slowed down. I went on break. I checked my messages..." Something about that time struck Noah as important, but he didn't know what. He felt on the cusp of remembering, when he got an unrelated flash.

He and Casey had been at his apartment. Noah had been livid, and screaming in anger, though it wasn't directed at Casey. He only remembered a few words:

_"Just as I'm out the door, he sets another trap for me. It's like the whole bottom just fell out of my future!"_

Aloud, Noah addressed Casey. "You and me - we were at my apartment. I was angry at Reid. I... knocked some things over," he said, piecing together as much of the moment as he can.

Casey nodded reluctantly. "But you had every right to be upset! He was fucking up your life!"

"How?" Margo and Noah asked the question simultaneously.

"Something about that research study you signed on for last winter. You agreed to be one of Reid's guinea pigs, and got free treatment."

"_That _I remember," Noah affirmed.

"You told me his receptionist called you at work with a new schedule of appointments."

"What?" Noah definitely had no memory of _that_. "What the hell for? I stopped seeing him for follow-up visits the same time I _started_ seeing him with his paws all over L-"

"ANYWAY," Casey cut interrupted. _Goddammit, Noah - shut the fuck up_, Casey implored his friend silently. The guy wasn't helping himself at all.

"You told me the woman said because of your contract with Reid, you had to continue in the research study. If you missed any more appointments, the agreement would be voided, and you'd owe the hospital and Reid for the entire cost of your care."

Margo saw the shock erupt on Noah's face. It was genuine. It was the first time the young man had heard this news - or rather, _remembered _hearing it.

"That doesn't even make sense!" Noah was confounded. "Why the hell would Reid want me to have to stay _here_? You think he'd be as stoked to get rid of me as I was him!"

Noah flinched at the elbow Casey delivered to his forearm. Their eyes meeting, Noah read Casey's wordless plea. _For fuck's sake, Mayer, could you please STOP incriminating yourself any more than you already have?_

Noah realized Casey was right. He needed to think before just blurting out whatever thought popped into his head each time he got a new piece of information. Whatever the hell happened to Reid, at the rate he was going, Noah would be charged with it!

Casey picked up the story. "You went to see Reid at his office. I only saw you leaving there. There wasn't any shouting, Mom," Casey quickly tacked on, before turning back to Noah. "You told me he said some big donor had promised millions more to the hospital if Reid continued his study. Since you were his star patient, he needed you to stay put, to keep charting your progress after the surgery."

_Of course_, Noah thought bitterly. If Reid wanted Noah around, there had to be something big in it for _him_. "But I'm leaving for L.A. after Thanksgiving! There's no way I could've left the project to fly back to Oakdale just for Reid to spent five seconds with my eyes twice a month..."

Noah trailed off, the fog lifting. On _this _point, anyway. No wonder he'd been furious with Reid! He _had _trapped Noah, with no means of escape. And all to line the hospital's pockets, no doubt so Reid could get some extra bells and whistles for his precious neuro wing.

Margo watched the slew of emotions cascade across Noah's face. Confusion. Disbelief. Finally, _fury_. Observing that last one, Margo had to admit it; Noah looked very much like a man who wanted someone dead.

Casey sensed the impending explosion, and scrambled for words to calm Noah down. It was too late.

"That son of a bitch!" Noah's volume startled both Casey and Margo. "It wasn't enough he took advantage of my blindness to steal Luke behind my back. No really - right in front of my face!"

A panicked Casey gripped Noah's arm hard, desperately trying to stop his rant. "Shut up, Noah. Just shut up. You need to stop talking now..."

Noah couldn't hear Casey, so explosive was his rage at Reid Oliver. Unbeknownst to them all, Noah's tirade carried throughout the station, where Luke and Katie had arrived. Luke was stunned at the outburst he could hear as Noah continued.

"The guy takes the best thing that _ever _happened to me, and still wants more? He has to steal my future, too? If there's any justice in this world, that mother fucker will-"

Noah's next damning remark was cut off by Casey. More specifically, by the hard press of Casey's lips against his. Startled, Noah froze, then pushed hard to throw Casey away from him, sending his friend reeling backwards into the table.

"Case? What the FUCK?"

At that moment, Noah noticed Luke and Katie standing in the room, their mouths agape in shock.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own ATWT or its characters.

Summary: Luke confronts Noah at the police station, and finds out more about Reid's death..

* * *

><p>Noah hadn't heard or seen them arrive. Reducing his volume to an aggrieved mutter, he returned his focus to Casey. "The <em>fuck<em>, Casey!"

Vaguely, Noah noticed that Casey looked almost as angry as he felt. "Jesus Christ, Noah! Didn't you hear me? You wouldn't answer, but you wouldn't _shut the fuck up_, either!" Finally, Noah got it. Casey had kissed him to halt his unstoppable spew of self-incrimination.

"I'm sorry, man," he answered quietly. "It's just, when you told me that, I wanted to-"

"NOAH," Casey begged, trying to derail whatever the damning end of _that _particular sentence was. Noah was shocked to see his friend beginning to tear up. He couldn't remember ever having seen Casey cry.

For the first time, Noah got his bearings, and realized he was in really, _really _deep shit. Even _Casey_ wasn't sure he hadn't hurt Reid. Looking to Luke, he expected to find the same doubt.

Instead, Luke Snyder, the most emotive person he knew, had somehow masked all trace of feeling in his face. He wore a painstakingly neutral expression that Noah had before never seen. Frankly, it creeped him the hell out.

"You - OUT." Margo spoke to Casey in anything but a maternal fashion. She was furious that he had gone to such lengths to stop Noah's statement. Dragging him out of the room, she tore into her son.

* * *

><p>Margo didn't beat around the bush. "Just <em>what the hell <em>did you think you were doing in there?"

Casey regained enough of his fighting spirit to retort, "Seeing what the big deal was. But I was right the first time; I'm sticking with girls."

Margo turned a shade of red Casey couldn't recall previously encountering in humankind. She was _livid_. He could pretty much count on his life for the foreseeable future to be hell, figuring her wrath would easily extend to Carbondale.

"You interfered with the questioning of a witness in a _murder investigation_," Margo reminded him "You're still on probation. You had to leave town to find a law school that would accept you with your record!"

"I know," Casey said. He didn't have a snappy retort for _that_. Trying another tack, he implored, "Mom. It's Noah! You know he didn't do it!"

Softening almost imperceptibly, Margo was still abundantly angry. "Well that's just the thing, Case. I _don't _know. I don't think _Noah _even knows. And thanks to you interrupting his memories mid-stream, we may _never _know."

"But they weren't _his_ memories - he was just reacting to what I told you guys!"

"And maybe that reaction could have jogged something for him! Did you ever consider that?"

Casey lost all grasp on the restraint he'd been trying to practice. "No, _Detective_. What I considered was my friend getting put away for something he didn't do!"

They looked at each other, the argument coming to a standstill. Casey could read when Margo made a decision. "Go home. And stay out of my hair."

"But I want to check on Noah-"

"GO. HOME. This is your only offer. Anyone who hampers my investigation from this moment on will be arrested immediately, no matter the detrimental effect on their existing criminal record."

Casey got the message. She was serious. Walking out, he texted Noah to let him know he'd wait outside the station. He just hoped Noah would actually _get _outside.

* * *

><p>Back in the interrogation room, Luke turned to Katie. "I need to speak to Noah alone." Immediately, Katie became enraged.<p>

"Of course you do," she bit out. "How else are you going to get your stories straight to protect your _boyfriend_?" Luke had never seen Katie so bitter, but it couldn't be helped.

An hour ago he had gone to her with the best of intentions, wanting to set the record straight, and at least heal some of her hurt. Now, that didn't even feature on his to-do list. Luke loved Katie - but he needed to get rid of her.

"What about you? You're so broken up over Reid, you're going out on the town for romantic dinners with Chris! Give me a break."

Katie flinched. "You're unbelievable!" She knew Luke was just trying to drive her from the room. But having confided in him at the apartment about how attentive Chris had been to help her cope, that was a low blow. And it was especially inappropriate in light of the fact Luke had dumped Reid for Noah, and now Noah was suspected of killing the physician.

"You didn't deserve him," Katie said brokenly. "I wish to God I'd seen that before. I could've told him... maybe he'd still be alive now..." Unable to continue, she fled the room in tears - exactly as Luke intended, minus the tears.

Noah was horrified. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Expressionless Luke evaporated instantly. "What the hell is wrong with me? You cannot be serious. You were screaming at the top of your lungs in a _police station _about how the man they're questioning you for _murdering _stole your boyfriend and ruined your life. And you wanna know what's wrong with _me_?"

The derision and frustration in Luke's voice was palpable. He was right; Noah had fucked himself over pretty thoroughly. Still, seeing the stark pain in Katie's eyes had burned him.

"Did you have to be so cruel to her, though? We could've gotten her to leave."

"Yeah, in another five minutes, and by then her sister - you know, the police chief accusing you of murder - would be back. We don't have _time_, Noah," Luke pleaded with him. "She was right about one thing. We have to get our stories straight!"

"Luke, I didn't do this!" For the first time, Noah really worried Luke might believe that he did.

"I know that," Luke replied fervently, assuaging that fear. "But this is Oakdale. It doesn't matter that you're not guilty when you _look _like you are!"

It was a fair point. Looking guilty almost sent Holden to prison for killing Damian Grimaldi - who was, not insignificantly, very much alive. What hope did Noah have with the victim's body in the Oakdale morgue and a slew of witnesses solidifying his motives? Not the least of which was himself. _Fuck_.

Once again, Noah's head throbbed. It seemed to do that anytime he was confronted with that hellish night. Even when the headaches were accompanied by memories, they were only snippets, and not enough for Noah to piece together what really happened on the day Reid Oliver died.

"All right. So what do we say?"

Luke stepped closer to Noah. "Nothing. I called Grandmother on my way here. She's getting her best lawyer. We don't say _anything_ else for now."

"What about Katie? Shouldn't we tell her you were still with Reid?"

"Hell no!" Luke was insistent, and closed in nearer still. "They already think you have one motive for killing Reid; I heard enough of that when we walked in. If the police know you and I weren't back together - Noah, you accused Reid of stealing me. At least if we were back together, that's one less motive to pin on you."

Noah considered Luke's argument. "I guess you're right..."

"Noah, please." Luke took both of Noah's hands within his own. "This week has been... I'm only surviving it because of _you_, you know? And I'm _so _scared for you right now. Please, don't tell Margo anything else. Let's wait and talk to the lawyer...," Luke's words dropped off as he saw that Noah was no longer listening - was somewhere _else_.

_Luke's hands were on Noah's shoulders as he whispered._

_"I am so scared inside, I can't even breathe..."_

_"I'll be ok...," Noah assured him, pulling his boyfriend into an embrace..._

"Noah!" Noah blinked, coming out of the memory. "Where did you go?"

"Uh, I just remembered something."

"About the fire?"

"No," Noah replied. "It was something else. From a long time ago."

Luke looked at him, feeling there was more to it. Before he got the chance to ask, though, Jack interrupted them.

"Jack!" Luke quickly walked over to him. "Why are they questioning Noah? Why does Margo think Reid was murdered?"

Jack looked at him skeptically. "Luke, you know I can't tell you any of that."

"Jack, Reid was my-" Luke's voice was robbed by the sharp pinch to his forearm. He turned angrily to Noah, but reading his expression, realized his mistake. He'd damn near called Reid his boyfriend, and only Noah's intervention had stopped him. Luke didn't miss the irony that he'd talked Noah into the deception, only to nearly give it away himself two minutes later.

"I still cared about him," Luke amended. "And you _know _Noah didn't hurt him."

Jack nodded, affirming Luke's statement. "Of course I know that. But it doesn't make the information any less confidential."

"Let's cut the crap," Luke challenged him. At Jack's affronted look, Luke went in for the kill. "We both know how this will go. I'll just show up for dinner and ask you twenty questions - or 200 - and watch your reactions until I've figured out the truth. Or you can save us both the time - and Carly having to set an extra place at the table - by just _telling _me now."

Jack let out an annoyed sigh, but he didn't disagree. Luke _would _do it. And Jack couldn't stop him because Carly would enable it, the little traitor.

"All right. Traces of an accelerant were found at the scene."

"That's all?" Luke knew multiple household items could act as accelerants; it didn't necessarily indicate arson. "Do they know what it is yet?"

"I haven't seen the report," Jack told Luke. "'Conflict of interest'; imagine that. Like anyone working any case in this inbred town _doesn't _scream conflict of interest."

Luke had to laugh. "That sounds like something Reid would say-" He broke off suddenly, looking apologetically to Noah.

"No, it's fine," Noah insisted. The last thing he wanted was for Luke to feel like he couldn't mention Reid. Noah hated the guy, but as much as it stung, he knew Luke had loved him. And _he _loved _Luke_. So he would stomach mentions of the rat bastard as well as he could.

"Whatever it was, there was a hell of a lot of it," Jack continued in response to Luke's question. "And right around the furnace, which caused the explosion."

Noah wasn't an expert on avoiding explosions, obviously. But he knew with the safety features of most furnaces, it would be pretty difficult to accidentally blow up a furnace. "So you're saying, the accelerant couldn't have been mistakenly spilled, and gotten sparked accidentally..."

"Not a chance. The fire was set intentionally."

Noah looked at Luke, whose eyes welled at the confirmation that Reid was definitely murdered. Still, he admirably held the tears at bay as he asked Jack, "is there anything else we should know?"

Jack didn't want to say more and upset Luke any further. But he knew Luke was like a dog with a bone, and would find out anyway if Jack didn't tell him, possibly breaking a law or three to get to the truth. He gave them the last, most harrowing piece of information that he had.

"Reid didn't die in the fire," Jack began.

Luke's mind felt abruptly displaced, like it had been launched from a slingshot only to crash into unfamiliar surroundings. Noah's wasn't far behind.

"What? What does that mean?" Luke couldn't get a grip on what Jack was telling him.

"The fire was set to cover up the murder," Jack explained further.

Dread spiraled in the pit of Luke's gut. "_How _did Reid die?" He was alarmed to see Jack fight back moisture is his own eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Luke," Jack told him.

"_HOW?_!"

Jack's voice was just above a whisper. "He was beaten to death."

In an instant, Luke's whole body failed him, and he tumbled towards the floor. Noah caught him to prevent the fall. Luke was wracked with the most wretched, jarring sobs Jack had ever heard.

Jack felt completely ineffectual. He didn't know how to help his cousin's son, and quietly exited the room, ceding all efforts at consolation to Noah. Through the window, he watched Noah lower them both to the floor as he embraced Luke tighter, promising him they'd get through this - together.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own ATWT or its characters.

Summary: Another ally comes to Noah's aide; Casey helps Noah retrace his steps the day of the murder.

* * *

><p>Lucinda Walsh sauntered into the Oakdale Police Department, her expression disdainful and her aura imposing. She zeroed in on Margo immediately. "<em>Detective <em>Hughes."

Margo groaned internally at the familiar, patronizing voice. She couldn't help but be blackly amused that it was the second time this afternoon that her title was said in the tone of a swear word. She turned to face the Grand Dame of Oakdale, and asked in the tone of someone who doesn't want an answer, "How can I help you, Lucinda?"

"You can help me by addressing the appalling incompetence of this police force! Starting by releasing Noah Mayer immediately," Lucinda sniffed.

"Noah wasn't arrested," Margo corrected. "He's a cooperating witness in our investigation. He is only being questioned at the moment."

Lucinda was no fool; she understood perfectly well the implications of Margo's _at the moment_. "If you think I have the first intention of allowing that young man to be railroaded by the buffoons in this department-"

The conclusion of the threat was interrupted by the chime of Margo's mobile. "Excuse me, Lucinda - I'll be elated to continue this delightful discussion after I take this." Lucinda served up a death glare as Margo stepped away to take the call.

"Grandmother!" Luke and Noah emerged from the interrogation room. "Thank God you're here," Luke said in relief as he greeted Lucinda with quick hug of gratitude, surprising the older woman.

"Of course I am, darling," she replied matter-of-factly. "I will not stand idly by while Noah is scapegoated by these idiots."

"Thank you, Lucinda," Noah said sincerely, grateful to have such a formidable ally on his side.

Leaning in, she quickly pecked Noah's cheek, a momentary softening before immediate resumption of her intimidating stance. "Don't worry, darling," she assured him. "My lawyer is on his way. He'll deal with these incompetent boors."

Noah felt a genuine grin form on his face. Leave it to Luke's indomitable grandmother to make him smile for the first time in days through the sheer force of her personality. The moment of levity dissolved as an angry-looking Margo returned to the group.

Lucinda laid down the law. "If you think you'll be questioning Noah any further without his attorney present-"

"You can go," Margo addressed Noah, her irritation evident. With Lucinda and Luke present, she knew she'd be blocked from questioning him further, anyway. And now the potential case she was building had abruptly collapsed.

Noah looked to Luke and Lucinda, finding their relief matched his own. Turning back to Margo, he said "thank you! And... I'm really sorry for losing it in there."

"Don't thank me," Margo replied. She answered Noah but glared at Lucinda. "The witness placing you at Reid's house earlier that evening has recanted."

Stepping closer to a satisfied-looking Lucinda, Margo's voice lowered, the contempt within it only just restrained. "If I find out you had _anything _to do with my witness changing her story, I will bring you up on obstruction of justice charges so fast your head will spin."

Regarding the other woman with her most condescending expression, Lucinda scoffed. "Thank God justice has finally been served today, no thanks to the comprehensive ineptitude of your office. Tell me something, Margo; do you _ever _get it right the first time?"

"We're leaving now," Luke quickly intervened, as Katie noticed the group preparing to exit, and crossed the room to meet them.

"What's going on, Margo?" she demanded in explanation from her sister.

Did no member of Margo's family comprehend the concept of police business vs. their business? Margo sighed. "We've concluding our questioning for now."

"What? So you're just going to let him go?" Katie, distressed, walked up to Noah. She was sure she detected remorse in his expression as he averted his eyes.

"Did you do this? Did you kill Reid?" She asked the question in a voice so small, so scared, it was all a guilt-riddled Noah could do not to blurt out the truth - that he hadn't broken up Reid and Luke. Instead, he replied to the question she did ask.

"No! Katie, I didn't like the guy - everyone knows that. But I wouldn't kill someone. And I wouldn't hurt you like that - or Luke!"

Katie absorbed the certainty in Noah's voice. She believed him. In truth, she'd never really thought Noah capable of murder in the first place. The news that Reid had been murdered had knocked her for six, and she was struggling to come to terms as much as the rest of them.

Wiping away the tears beginning to escape her, she nodded. She surprised everyone then by standing on her toes to embrace Noah. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "I know better than that. It's just..."

She trailed off, unable to finish. "I know," Noah said understandingly. "We're all just trying to wrap our minds around this."

Pulling back, Katie nodded once, then extended her hand to Luke, who grasped it. "I know you loved him," she said confidently. "I don't know what happened between the two of you, but I know this is killing you, too."

Luke nodded once, and squeezed her hand. He waited a moment to speak, afraid his voice would crack. "I'll take you home."

Lucinda stepped aside to take a call, as Katie made a request of Luke.

"Could we hit Java first? I'd really like to talk with you, Luke. I love Chris for trying to help. He's been amazing, but he doesn't feel this loss like we do-"

"Sure, no problem." Luke had to stop her praise of Chris Motherfucking Hughes, or _he _would be the one losing his temper in the Oakdale PD. Lucinda returned to the group, and Luke addressed her. "Can you drop Noah off?"

"Actually, I'll catch a ride with Casey, if that's ok," Noah suggested. "I need to pick up some things at my place."

"Very well, dear," Lucinda replied. "I've just spoken with my lawyer. You have an appointment with him tomorrow at two o'clock sharp. If this department decides to wrongly accuse you again, we'll be prepared this time."

Noah nodded in gratitude. He started to feel like things were going to be all right. He was leaving with no charges against him, and Luke was going to smooth things over with Katie.

Still, he needed to piece together what happened the day of the fire. Maybe he even knew something that could help find Reid's murderer! Noah hoped he'd find something to jog his memory at his apartment.

"Meet you at the house?" Luke's question brought Noah out of his contemplation.

"How about I just catch up with you at Java? We can go home from there."

"Sounds good." Luke paused. He wasn't sure how to say goodbye to Noah, since they were supposed to be boyfriends. Noah looked unsure, too, but finally just picked something from when they actually _were _together, and gave Luke a quick peck to his temple.

* * *

><p>"You're a shitty kisser."<p>

Casey affected an offended gasp as he drove them towards Noah's apartment. "I've never had any complaints before! You're just bitter you can't get a guy as hot as me."

"I got Luke," Noah volleyed back.

"Yeah - _got_, past tense. Don't say anything - the less information I have, the better. But I know you guys aren't bumping uglies."

"Geez, Casey," Noah shook his head at his friend's crassness. Quickly, though, he realized the important part of Casey's assertion. "Wait - how do you know?"

Casey shot Noah his best _duhhh_ expression. "Maybe because I _know_ you guys? You have exactly two looks you give each other. Number 1's when you're together, and it says 'we're totally doing it.' Number 2's when you're broken up; that's the look you had today."

Skeptical of this theory, Noah asked, "Really - what does that one say?"

Casey smirked. "It says 'I totally wish we were doing it'."

So maybe Casey had a point. At least when it came to Noah. "Luke doesn't look at me like that," he said quietly.

"TMI man, remember? So if I'm asked about you and Luke, I know nothing!"

"Sorry," Noah offered.

"But just before we drop this: he _so _does." Before Noah could argue the point, Casey switched on the radio, then began singing along loudly to Lady Gaga's "Telephone." Noah couldn't help but chuckle.

"Don't laugh - you're doing the Beyoncé part," Casey broke off from the chorus to command.

Noah's eyebrows raised. "Like hell I am."

Casey unleashed exaggerated puppy dog eyes onto Noah. "Come on, you know you want to. I'm your Gaga. Be my Beyoncé. BE MY BEYONCE!"

"'Sometimes I feel like I live in Grand Central Station'," Noah ground out in something between a melody and a mutter.

"YES!," Casey shouted victoriously before jumping in to join his friend. "'Tonight I'm not taking no calls 'cause I'll be dancing!'"

Soon, they were both sputtering in laughter as the world's worst-ever cover of "Telephone" drew to a close. His mood immeasurably lightened, Noah couldn't resist ribbing his friend. "You knew _all _the words. I think you're pretty much gay now."

"Ha! _This _means I'm gay? Not kissing you in front of my mom." Casey shuddered dramatically.

"Obviously, you've been wanting to do that for years-"

Casey let one hand free of the wheel to deliver a quick punch to Noah's arm. "You wish!" They both laughed as the car pulled in to the parking lot of Noah's building.

* * *

><p>They weren't laughing as they stood in the doorway of Noah's apartment, surveying the damage.<p>

"Holy shit!"

Noah nodded his agreement. "That about covers it." He turned to Casey. "Do you remember this?"

"Hell no, man," Casey answered. "When you were mad, you knocked a few things over, but nothing like this. At least, not while I was here."

The place looked like a tornado had invited itself for a sleepover. Framed pictures were reduced to shattered fragments on the wooden floor. A lamp was knocked to the ground. A nearby chair was overturned. Several boxes Noah had been packing were upended, their contents spilling out.

Detecting the horror on Casey's face, Noah quickly explained. "I know how this looks, Case. I do. But I swear to you, there's no way I killed Reid. I couldn't have done that."

Turning to his friend, Casey replied, "I know that, man. Tearing up your apartment doesn't make you a killer." Recalling the moment at the station when Noah had asked Casey if he'd hurt Reid, Casey added, "I'm glad you know it, too."

Casey stepped forward, lifting the lamp back to a standing position before doing the same with the chair beside it. In unspoken agreement, they went about straightening up the apartment, restoring it to acceptable order. Noah then packed some clothes and other necessities, and Casey drove him to Old Town to meet Luke.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own ATWT or its characters.

Summary: Luke hashes it out with Katie, while Noah experiences more frequent and painful flashbacks.

* * *

><p>"This is where I met him," Katie reminisced.<p>

Luke smiled. "I know."

"Jacob wouldn't stop crying, and I thought it was a godsend when I saw a doctor sitting over here. But he was such an ass!"

They both laughed. "It was a front," Luke reminded.

"I know. I kind of knew it then. He had this air of invincibility...," Katie paused, sadly realizing what she'd said. "Ironic, I guess. But there was just something about him - underneath the bravado. Like he was his own island... isolated."

"So you found the stray and took him home," Luke answered.

"I guess I did. One of the best decisions I ever made," she added, tearing up again.

Luke reached across the table to take her hand. "This is where I told him I loved him."

Katie's eyebrows raised in interest. "Really? What did he say? That he loved you back?"

Luke snickered. "Not exactly. I believe his exact words were, 'hold the phone'."

Katie giggled. "Oh my God. Ever the romantic!"

They shared a smile.

"Luke, if this is too personal, you don't have to tell me," Katie began. "But... did he ever get to say it back?"

Just like that, Luke was fighting back the tears. Those words had meant so much to him, but remembering them now brought more pain than anything else.

After a pause to gather himself, he responded. "Yes. Yes he did."

The moment was broken by the chime of Katie's mobile. Apologetically, she answered the call from Chris. Luke tried not to wince outwardly.

Wrapping up the call, Katie explained. "That was Chris. He got a babysitter for Jacob and wants to take me to dinner at the Lakeview later. He has to stop by the hospital first to check on some things; I think I'll go early and catch up with him there, so he doesn't stay too long on his day off. He's been so attentive this week, just making all this bearable."

Luke chastised himself. So Chris was an asshole and hated the man who had saved his life. But somehow, the guy was walking Katie through this hell. Knowing how much he'd been leaning on Noah, Luke couldn't begrudge her that support.

"I'm glad. You deserve to have someone take care of you." He admirably resisted the urge to tack on, _someone better_.

"Thanks," Katie said. "The service was beautiful, by the way. It was a wonderful tribute...," she broke off as Luke averted his eyes. "What? Oh, Luke, I'm sorry. I was upset, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you like that at the memorial-"

"It's all right; I understood."

"You deserve to have someone take care of you, too, you know - and I'm glad you do. I could see how Noah was helping you through the service," Katie continued.

Luke let out a small, strained sigh. _You don't know the half of it_, he thought, reminded of exactly how much Noah had helped with the service - and Luke hadn't.

Katie appeared thoughtful. "Look, you don't have to say anything. But I know you and Reid hadn't broken up."

Panicked, Luke shook his head while Katie continued.

"He would've said something to me. Or at least sounded 'off', and I would've grilled him 'til he spilled. Plus, news like that couldn't stay out of the Oakdale rumor mill for 24 hours, let alone over a week."

Scrambling, Luke lied. "I didn't tell anyone. I still cared about Reid - I didn't want to embarrass him by having people know I left him for Noah."

"Luke, just stop. I might believe it if it was just you lying. But Noah's a terrible liar. I could see it all over his face at the station. He was telling the truth when he said he didn't kill Reid, but he still looked guilty. And it took him a little too long to figure out how to say goodbye to you."

_Shit_, Luke thought. He wondered how many other people had figured it out if Katie had.

"I'm not going to say anything," Katie reassured. "But you guys need to get your act together if you want people to buy it." She slung her purse strap over her shoulder, and stood. "I have to go now. Luke - thank you for this."

Luke rose from his chair. "I'll walk you out. And Katie," he added. "Thank _you_, too."

* * *

><p>Noah and Casey arrived at Java, but didn't see Luke and Katie. "He must be driving her home."<p>

"I'll wait with you," Casey said.

"Case, you don't have to. You've done enough today."

"Yeah, do me a favor? Don't remind me," Casey answered in mock horror. "For my last above-and-beyond friend act of the day, I'll buy you a coffee."

Noah smirked. "Would you stop trying to date me?"

"... and, I'll probably spit in it. Or not. It's the wondering that'll get to you," Casey wagged a finger, then headed for the counter.

Smiling at his irrepressible friend, Noah took his usual seat since the table was vacant. He flipped open his phone to see if Luke had texted. As he awaited Casey's return, Noah was overcome with a sense of déjà vu.

Feeling on the cusp of a memory, Noah thought back to the last day he'd worked at Java - the day of the fire. He'd sat here on his break, checking his messages. Casey said he'd gotten a message from Reid's office.

Noah concentrated hard on retrieving that memory. Yes, he _did _recall getting that message, and returning the call to explain to the woman he no longer saw Dr. Oliver. Still, he as much as he tried to gain some recollection of learning about Reid's stunt or confronting the man, he couldn't.

His attempts to regain more from that day only garnered a series of disjointed flashbacks that Noah couldn't wrap his brain around. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to the clash of nonsensical recollections. Some felt real, but it was like he was watching them for the first time.

Other memories that sprung forth he was all too familiar with, like finding Luke in Reid's arms. But sometimes the recollections seemed wrong somehow; like he was seeing recognizable events unfold in a jumbled way he wasn't sure was correct. The only commonality of the flashes was that both physically and mentally, each was painful.

"Noah!"

Noah opened his eyes to find both Casey and Luke standing over him. It took him a moment to shake off the swirling thoughts in his mind. He realized it was Luke who had spoken.

"Are you ok, man?"

Noah swallowed hard. He felt like he'd just awoken from an especially traumatic dream, only he'd been awake and the memories had been real. Or most of them had been, he thought.

Trying to mask his growing alarm that something was really wrong with his head, Noah answered Casey. "Yeah man, I'm cool. Just a headache."

Luke looked on with concern. "You've been getting a lot of headaches. I'm taking you back to Memorial to get checked out."

Noah objected, "It's fine, I'm just really tired. It's been a long week. Oh, thanks for the ride, Case."

Casey winked. "Anytime, Beyoncé. Enjoy your coffee. I'll call you guys tomorrow." He fist-bumped Noah and nodded at Luke before exiting Java.

"Beyoncé?"

"Long story." As Noah's head began to clear somewhat from the fog of confusion he'd just experienced, he noticed the coffee Casey had left for him, and took a sip, thinking he could use the caffeine shot.

"Noah, let's take that to go. I know it's late, and this may be the longest day in recorded history, but we really need to get you checked out."

"I said no! You can stop acting so concerned," Noah snapped.

"What?" Luke was completely thrown by Noah's attitude towards him. "I'm not acting - I'm your friend! I care about you!"

Noah was furious. "Oh, now that your boyfriend's dead, you want to be my friend. When he was alive you said we couldn't be friends, but _now _we can?"

Gobsmacked, Luke leaned close and fired back. "What is wrong with you? You get your sight back, and lose your memory?"

Just as Noah prepared to retort, Luke's words hit home. Pausing, Noah thought it through again, trying to correctly assemble the shards of his confusion. Finally, he spoke. "You didn't say we couldn't be friends... that was me."

Long past concerned with the way Noah was looking at him as though not quite sure who he was, Luke pulled the opposite chair close, and dropped down in it to sit. Placing a hand over Noah's, he asked softly, "all right. You don't remember the fire. What else don't you remember?"

Blinking at Luke, Noah suddenly burst out laughing, though it was a bizarre, pained sound.

"This isn't funny!" Luke's affront was more a knee-jerk reaction than anything else. He didn't think Noah was actually amused, so much as coming undone before his eyes.

Noah quieted. "I know. But how can I tell you what I don't remember?"

Luke sighed. "Why didn't you tell me you were having memory problems?"

"I don't know. It wasn't this bad at first. I was only missing part of that day...," Noah answered. "But today - I don't know. Stuff I _do _remember is getting mixed up in my head. I don't know how to explain it."

"That's why we're going to Memorial _right_ now."

"No, Luke," Noah pleaded. "Not tonight. I'm too tired, and they'll have me up half the night running tests." As Luke shook his head to object, Noah implored, "_Please_. I'm _so_ tired. Please - I just wanna go home and sleep."

"Noah, something could be really wrong with you!" Luke tried to control his panic, but it seeped through his voice.

Wanting to reassure, Noah promised, "tomorrow. I swear. Just not now. Let me do this my way..."

_The two of them stood on the streets of New York. Noah pled with Luke to let him handle the Colonel..._

_"You have to let me do this my way... you have to trust me. I won't let anything happen to me, okay? I love you too much..."_

Shaking himself from the flashback, Noah stared at Luke. He tried to discern if that memory was real - yes.

The realization Noah had gone somewhere else for a moment did nothing to assuage Luke's concern, but his ex did looked completely drained. "All right. But tomorrow morning, we go to Memorial."

Noah's troubled face relaxed into relief. "Thanks. I know I'll feel better if I can just catch up on my sleep."

Luke seriously doubted that, but nodded in agreement, hoping it was true. They drank their coffees with an unsettled air between them, each man feeling suspended on the edge of dread, but neither understanding entirely why. When they had both drained their mugs, Luke stood for them to leave, and noticed a cell phone under the table.

Holding it up, Luke told Noah, "This must've fallen out of Katie's purse. We can drop it off on our way home."

Noah shook his head in agreement, and they headed out of Java together.

* * *

><p>Since Noah's headache was still in full force, he chose not to accompany Luke into the Lakeview, hoping Luke might get in and out faster knowing Noah was waiting outside. As Luke made his way inside, he spied Katie and Chris in the lobby, deep in conversation. While he wanted to just give her the phone and go, their discussion seemed rather intense, so he hung back awaiting a less awkward moment to intrude.<p>

"You can't tell anyone!"

Though he hadn't been purposely eavesdropping, Luke couldn't help that his ears perked up at the desperation in Chris' voice. Realizing he hadn't been spotted, he took cover behind a large decorative plant, despite understanding he must look ridiculous to anyone who could see him.

"Chris, I can't lie to Margo!"

Luke knew immediately his decision to listen in had been the right one.

"Katie... baby... you don't need to lie," Chris said, his voice dropping into a sickeningly sweet impersonation of someone who actually gave a damn. "You just don't need to volunteer information that's irrelevant."

"If Margo asks me-"

"_If _Margo questions you again, you tell her everything you know about _Reid_. What you saw at the hospital today has _nothing _to do with that!"

"Chris, you were coming out of his office! The police sealed that off for a reason. If Margo finds out that I knew and didn't tell her..."

"Katie, the only thing telling her will do is make _me _a suspect. Unless that's what you want to happen... do _you _think I hurt Reid?"

Luke was not only stunned by what he was hearing. He amazed they hadn't all seen through this jackass before now. Everything about Chris was fake - even the way he adopted a hurt tone in his voice to try and win Katie's cooperation. _God, don't let her fall for it_.

"No, don't even think that," Katie began. "But if we withhold information, it makes us look like we have something to hide. And we don't! Do we?"

"Of course not!"

"Then _what _were you doing in Reid's office?"

Chris sighed heavily; yet another affectation, Luke thought.

"When I first came back to Memorial, Reid and I had a disagreement about a patient. He didn't agree with my treatment plan, but I stood up to him, and fought for my patient! Long story short, I got my patient the care he needed, but I had to go behind Reid's back to do it. And since he's... he _was_... Chief of Staff now, that didn't exactly sit well with him."

"Well _that _I can imagine," Katie replied. "But I'm sure Reid was trying to help the patient, too!"

"He was," Chris quickly agreed, solely in an effort to placate Katie, Luke thought. "And I know everyone thought he was infallible, but Katie, this time he was _wrong_. My treatment plan gave the patient the best chance - and it _worked_! The man has made a full recovery; he's going to get to watch his kids grow up!"

Luke's stomach turned as Katie's face softened. He truly believed Chris had mentally checked every box under "Things to Get Katie on Board with My Lie" as he spun his cockamamie tale. The guy was full of shit; Luke was certain of it.

Though calmer, Katie still questioned her fiancée. "What did that have to do with you breaking into his office?"

Chris ran a hand over his face as if distressed. Luke didn't buy it for a second.

"I'm ashamed of myself, but I did it for _us_," Chris began. At a suspicious raise of Katie's eyebrow, Chris hurriedly went on. "As COS, Reid does my evaluations. I was scheduled to meet with him when he died. Whatever Reid wrote about me will go to the hospital board. They're gonna choose the new COS, and I was afraid that after doing an end-run around him to save a man's life, Reid could've written something in anger that will hurt my chances now."

Katie stared at Chris, and not particularly sympathetically, Luke discerned.

Chris must've sensed it, too. "Don't you see? This affects our whole future! I'm going to marry you, and I want to give you and Jacob the best of everything! Not just a nice apartment - a perfect house with miles of yard for Jacob to play in. When I'm your husband, neither of you should want for anything!"

"Chris, we don't want for anything; we have each other, and we have _you_!"

_God bless Katie_, mused Luke. _She always sees good in someone whether it's there or not_.

"But I want to take care of you both... save for Jacob's education for the best schools... plan for our golden years together... the whole enchilada! You two mean _everything _to me." Chris went in for the proverbial kill. "When Brad died, you both lost everything. Your husband, Jacob's father, and your sense of security; of knowing someone who loved you would always be there to take care of you both. I know I can't ever take his place, but I at least want to replace what I can... give you back some of what you lost. You deserve that."

By the end of Chris' speech, Luke could see Katie's eyes were filled both with tears, and love. Luke would've hated to admit it, but even he had started to fall for the guy's act, thinking maybe his actions could be out of love. _Until _Chris brought up Brad.

Something about the way he'd done it - for maximum possible impact - shook Luke. He was sure Chris was actually trying to use Katie's love for Brad and pain at his loss against her. What's worse, he was succeeding.

"All right," Katie finally said softly. "I don't approve of what you did, but if you put the evaluation back where you found it, I won't say anything to Margo. It wouldn't be fair since you did it for us. But from now on, you need to know you _never _have to go to such lengths for Jacob and me. We _are _happy and secure, and that's because of you. We don't need a fancy house or high-end lifestyle. We just need you to love us!"

"I _do_," Chris vowed. "_So _much, baby. You're my life." Chris concluded his triumph by pulling Katie in for a kiss. Luke reasoned it was good he was so near to the potted plant, since he might very likely need to vomit in it.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own ATWT or its characters.

Summary: Things come to a head between Luke and Chris; then, between Luke and Noah.

Thank you to Jessie33 and Wizard-Angst for your comments on previous chapters. :)

* * *

><p>"Let's get our table. I don't think this is the relaxing dinner date you had planned," Katie joked, trying to lighten the mood.<p>

"You go ahead," Chris answered. "I'll catch up after I make a quick call to check up on a patient."

Chris leaned down to give her a brief peck on the lips, then Katie disappeared through the restaurant. Luke didn't waste a second before stomping over to Chris, interrupting his phone call.

"What were you _really _doing in Reid's office?"

Chris' head jerked up, his expression equal parts angered, and caught red-handed. "Christ, Luke - do you always listen in on other people's conversations?"

"It's Oakdale," Luke snapped back dismissively. "What are you hiding? What do you know about Reid's murder?"

"Nothing!" Chris held his hands out to imply he was completely clueless, but Luke didn't believe a thing he said now. He felt everything the asshole did was just for show.

"Yeah right. That's why you don't want anyone to know you broke into his office! You _know _something, and you're letting Noah take the fall to keep the heat off yourself," Luke continued, his righteous anger building with every word. "I heard you trashing Reid at the hospital. Did _you _have something to do with his death? Is that why you're lying?"

Chris had the gall to look offended. "Is there a conversation you _won't _eavesdrop on? And do you seriously think I'd beat a man to death - even Reid?"

Stunned, Luke halted his tirade. No, he didn't honestly think Chris could beat someone to death. Finally, he answered quietly, "How do you know about that?"

"My sister-in-law's the Chief of Police; how do you think? You're not the only one who overhears things," Chris shot back. "Now get a fucking grip on yourself. I'm not gonna let you make Katie any more upset over Reid than she already is."

Luke detected the threatening tone in Chris' words, but wouldn't be silenced. "You can't expect me to just let Noah take the fall and not tell anyone _you _broke into Reid's office!"

"Since you were listening in you know that had _nothing _to do with Reid's death! Don't shoot your mouth off and ruin things for Katie and me just because you had a boner for the guy."

With that parting shot, Chris spun on his heel, and headed outside to make his call, leaving an infuriated Luke frozen in place. Not for long, though. Within a few seconds, Luke stalked through the door, following Chris. Spotting him on the phone, Luke stepped up behind him. He unceremoniously pushed the other man forward, sending Chris hurtling onto the pavement, his mobile breaking apart as it, too, connected with the hard surface.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Chris rolled over to pick himself up from the ground. Fueled by fury, he was up so quickly that Luke didn't even see the punch coming. Luke's head snapped back, and it was his turn to fall towards the ground. He was surprised when the second painful impact never came.

Noah, who'd been waiting outside for Luke, had started running immediately when he saw Luke push Chris. He didn't make it there fast enough to stop the punch. He did, however, manage to both stop Luke's fall, then turn to level Chris with his patented right hook.

The resulting cracking sound was more satisfying than Noah would ever want to admit. But as Chris fell backwards, Noah was dealt a blow of his own; another flash of memory, this one more physically painful than the previous ones had been. In it, he could see himself at what he assumed must be Reid's home, and though the flash was brief, Noah was almost certain the memory was real.

The day Reid Oliver died, Noah had hit him. _Hard_.

* * *

><p><em>Tuesday, November 9th - four days after Reid's death<br>_  
>The next morning, Luke drove Noah to Memorial to get checked out. Luke feared he must have suffered a concussion. So he was surprised when Bob told them that physically, Noah was fine.<p>

Even Noah nearly scoffed at _that_. He sure as shit didn't _feel _fine. Bob explained that Noah was likely suffering from some sort of psychosomatic trauma related to the fire, and encouraged Noah to see a local therapist.

Noah thanked him and got the hell out of there, with Luke running to catch up to his exit. Before Luke could even argue that Noah take Bob's advice, Noah shocked him by pulling out his mobile to call the number on the card Bob had given him. He made an appointment on the spot.

At the look of shock on Luke's face, Noah explained. "I already _have _a headache. I don't wanna make it worse by spending our whole lunch arguing about this." With that, he continued to the truck, leaving an amazed Luke to follow.

* * *

><p>After lunch, Noah and Luke met with Lucinda's lawyer, Mr. Barrow. The man assured Noah that the police had no physical evidence against him thus far. Irritated, Luke snapped back that there wouldn't <em>be <em>any evidence to find, because Noah was innocent.

Noah laid a hand over Luke's, reminding him the man was just doing his job. Barrow went on to explain that in the absence of other suspects, the Oakdale PD would continue to look at Noah because of the statements he'd made against Reid both at the hospital and the police station. Noah reckoned while Casey wasn't renowned for his advice, he'd been right about one thing: Noah needed to start shutting the hell up.

While he didn't remember what he'd said at the hospital, it was clear he'd said it 1.) loudly, and 2.) in front of a fair number of people. If it was anything like he'd done at the station (and he suspected it was), Noah could hardly blame the cops for suspecting him. He needed to get a handle on his temper before he offered himself up on a platter to boost the Oakdale PD's conviction rate.

When Luke asked what else they could do to protect Noah, Barrow told him it would help if there were other suspects. Luke looked at Noah guiltily, and seemed like he might say something. Noah shook his head in silent veto.

Unbeknownst to Barrow, they'd come to an agreement of sorts with Chris Hughes. While Luke hated the guy, he knew the turd wasn't capable of beating a man to death. So when Chris threatened to press assault charges against both Luke and Noah, and Luke shot back that he couldn't _wait _to tell the police was Chris had been up to, it was Noah who'd brokered the deal. Each of them would stay silent about the other's transgressions, and everyone would stay out of jail.

Now, though, that meant they couldn't offer Chris as a potential suspect. Still, in the event the police came after Noah again, Luke was perfectly prepared to break the deal and throw Chris under the bus. If someone had to be wrongly charged, better that asshole than Noah.

Barrow questioned them about who might have motive to kill Reid. In truth, neither of them could offer a viable suspect. Luke knew Reid could be difficult, but he'd also saved lives. Who could possibly want him dead, and why?

Barrow shifted uncomfortably in his chair, and cleared his throat to speak. Both boys noticed the man regarding their joined hands. Luke began to feel very uncomfortable, and before the lawyer could talk, threw out the obvious question.

"Mr. Barrow, do you have a problem with us being gay?"

Barrow quickly shook his head. "No, not at all! It's just... a difficult subject..."

Noah felt something was off, now, too. "What?"

Barrow sighed, in the tentative way a father does when he has to tell his kids their goldfish died. Finally, he levelled with them. "Dr. Oliver was new in town. He had few friends, and no family to speak of. While you've explained he could rub some the wrong way, people don't plan someone's murder because of that.

With the level of violence you've described, coupled with the premeditation of this attack... well, it's an incredibly personal attack on a man who avoided personal entanglements," Barrow continued. "Mr. Snyder, you have to consider the possibility... that this was a hate crime," the man concluded.

* * *

><p>They were silent on the ride home. If Luke hadn't been jarred enough by the meeting with Barrow, he was further agitated that Noah asked him to drive. Luke knew Noah must be enduring another painful headache, though of course he'd never complained.<p>

Head resting against the passenger side window, Noah's eyes remained closed as he desperately tried to quiet his mind. For days, he'd been trying to remember, but now he just wanted to forget. The figments he garnered in these moments weren't worth the agony it took to get them.

_"Mr. Mayer, I thought we had an understanding."_

_"No, you can't do that - that's not fair!"_

_"Extending a study for a procedure that's restored your sight, and could help thousands of others?" Reid stepped closer to impart his point. "It's just sound medicine."_

_"Go to hell."_

Noah's eyes shot open. _That _memory was real; of that he was certain. He had been talking with Reid. When he'd arrived at the hospital, Reid wasn't in his office, and Noah had tracked him down in an exam room.

In the midst of that conversation, Reid simply turned and walked out, letting Noah know the doctor found it unnecessary to give him the time of day while ruining his life. Noah was infuriated, and followed the man to his office, and tried once more to reason with him. And then... nothing.

* * *

><p>"You had a memory in the truck, didn't you?"<p>

Noah closed the front door behind them as they entered the living room. Luke had phrased his query as a question, but they both knew the answer.

"Yeah," came the quiet reply as he stood facing the other man.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Noah tipped his head back, as if looking for an escape hatch in the ceiling.

"Not really," he answered. Luke nodded in understanding, but Noah continued. "I have to, though. It affects you."

Luke waited. If Noah was on the cusp of sharing something with him, the surest way to make him clam up was to push. So, he didn't push. He would listen when there was something to listen to.

"I argued with him, at the hospital. I asked him why... told him we could work something out... that I could see any doctor he chose in L.A. to keep him updated. But he wouldn't budge, Luke. And I don't know... it didn't really seem like he was trying to stick it to me so much as trying to get rid of me. Which I know, doesn't make sense; he was trying to keep me in town. But that day it was like I was keeping him from something else, and he couldn't be bothered with me."

Noah realized what he'd said. "I know, he was like that all the time, but this was different. I can't explain it. He made a shitty comment here or there, but he wasn't like, _him_. He didn't fight back or call me an idiot. He just seemed _tired_."

Luke agreed the behavior didn't sound like Reid. He didn't give as good as he got - he gave better. For him to disengage before insulting an opponent's parentage, intelligence, and/or hygiene was unprecedented.

Luke understood what Noah was trying to tell him; Reid wasn't _himself _on the day he died. Luke wondered what could have been bothering Reid. It was nothing they'd talked about.

Maybe Reid suspected that someone was after him? Could he have even known someone wanted him dead? What if Reid had received a threat, but hadn't told Luke in some misguided effort not to worry him?

Luke relayed these thoughts to Noah. Noah listened, admitting it was possible. Still, there was another flashback he needed to tell Luke about.

"Yesterday, at the Lakeview... when I hit Chris," Noah began. "I remembered something else. I wanted to be sure it was real before I told you - not make the same mistake I did at Java, and freak you out for no reason. But I think it _was _real."

Noah's tone sounded ominous to Luke. "All right. What is it?"

Taking a deep breath, Noah confessed. "The day he died... I hit Reid. I think it was at his house. I mean, I don't know, I didn't recognize the place but it must've been. I don't remember going there, Luke. I don't even know why I hit him, just that in that moment I was _so _angry... I'm so sorry-"

"Okay," Luke said, nodding.

"Okay?" Noah did a double-take. "What do you mean, okay?"

"Well, I'm not _happy _about it, obviously. But it's not unprecedented, either. He did seem to push all the wrong buttons with you-"

"Luke, you're not listening! I hit him _hard_. What if I snapped or something, and kept hitting him? What if that's why I can't remember?"

"You wouldn't _do _that, Noah. You wouldn't hurt someone like that, not even Reid."

"Luke I don't know! When I got my sight back...when I saw him kissing you? I coulda killed him."

Shaking his head vehemently, Luke nixed the idea out of hand. "There's _no _way, Noah. I don't care how angry you were. You may have lost your temper and punched him, but you'd never go farther than that. I _know _you. You aren't capable of that-"

"I'm Winston Mayer's son!"

"NO!" Luke shouted with such volume, Noah balked. Luke calmed himself, then went on. "We are not entertaining this as a possibility, do you hear me? Because it's _not _possible - end of story. I believe that with everything in me, and I need _you _to believe it, too. Deal?"

Noah wanted to agree. He wanted to tell Luke he was sure he couldn't have done this. But with each day that passed, Noah knew his own mind - and himself - less and less. Unable to give Luke the answer he wanted, Noah suddenly stalked out of the room.

Even within the depths of this mess, Luke couldn't help but smile just a little. Only a few days ago, it had all been too much for him, and he'd run upstairs to hide. Now it was Noah's turn, and he was certainly entitled.

Luke headed up to his own room to change out of the suit he'd worn for the lawyer's appointment, then returned to the living room to await Noah's reappearance. He mused that even with his head all over the place, Noah was probably _still _more level-headed than himself. He figured it would be nowhere near ten hours before Noah reemerged.

Closer to ten minutes after Luke had gone downstairs, Noah joined him, standing across the room from Luke, almost as if afraid to approach him.

"I'm sorry."

Luke nodded negligibly in understanding. "You're not your father, Noah. You would never take someone's life."

"How can you be so sure when _I'm_ not? How can you still want me around?"

"All I know... is this: I'm not ready for you to leave my life." He stepped closer to Noah, staring intently at him - through him - with teary eyes. "I'll _never _be ready for that."

Noah raised a hand, softly touching the visible bruise Chris had gifted Luke with the day before. He needed to touch Luke; he needed that physical link to safety Luke had always provided. Noah didn't mean to lean in, but before he even realized he'd done it, both men collided in a kiss that burned with all the history, love, and longing between them.

Noah knew he should pull away. He _knew _Luke was still mourning his boyfriend. He made exactly one half-hearted attempt to pull back, which was easily thwarted by Luke's responding tug on his suit jacket, bringing Noah right back to his lips.

As they fumbled, grasped, and groped their way up the stairs together, both of them knew neither would be calling a halt. They were too tired of fighting what they wanted, and even if they hadn't been, their _need _was too great. Noah didn't leave an article of clothing undamaged as he pulled at the fabric of Luke's shirt and pants, divesting him of all barriers as quickly as possible.

Luke answered in kind, ripping at Noah's shirt, sending buttons flying that no one would care to sew back on. _God_, he needed Noah. Not just now. This was the culmination of a battle he'd been losing for months, but stubbornly kept fighting in a futile effort to shield his heart.

It all seemed rather stupid, now. How the hell could Luke protect his heart from Noah, when Noah _was _his heart? What lunacy had convinced him he could do this - he could live the rest of his life without Noah?

Fuck that. Fuck his stubbornness, his pride, and even that little part of him that had wanted payback. That wanted _Noah _to know how Luke had felt - alone, abandoned, and adrift without him.

Noah didn't ask if Luke had been with Reid. Luke's refusal of the condom has been answer enough. He knew Luke would've insisted if he'd been with someone else.

Noah sank into Luke for the first time in a year. Each subsequent plunge seemed not only to take them both to the height of pleasure, but push out all the hurt and regret between them. They both felt it, and each clawed the other tighter still, willing all the bad to be driven out by the blinding bliss that was _them_. They soared together, then fell together, until each man lay contented and boneless in the other's arms.

* * *

><p><em>Tuesday, November 16th - Eleven days after Reid's death<em>

Dr. Chris Hughes opened his cell phone, answering its chime. He listened to the caller, before asking, "Is it done?" Upon receiving his answer, he nodded - satisfied.

* * *

><p>Acting on an anonymous tip, Margo watched as her detectives search Noah Mayer's truck as it sat outside of Java. Upon showing Noah her search warrant, the young man willingly complied, seemingly confident he had no cause for concern. As an officer pulled out a packet from underneath the driver's seat, however, Noah's confidence turned to confusion.<p>

Margo inspected the papers, disturbed by what they'd found. Turning to a seemingly perplexed Noah, she was determined not to let her affinity for the boy affect her job. Finally, she spoke.

"Read him his rights, and book him."

* * *

><p>Luke arrived in Old Town only in time to see Noah being placed into the back of a police van. Rushing to the vehicle, he slammed his hands on the window, ineffectually trying to stop the arrest. "Noah!"<p>

Noah looked at Luke, trying to give him a half-smile. But it failed to form. Instead, all Luke could see was the fear in the other man's eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own ATWT or its characters.

Summary: The heat is on Noah once again, and Reid's killer is finally revealed.

Note: This chapter concludes the story. Thank you to all who've been reading!

* * *

><p>Naturally, Luke had hopped in his car and followed Noah to the police station. Storming inside, he immediately zeroed in on Noah, standing with Margo in preparation to be booked. Luke didn't waste any time in giving Casey's mom a piece of his mind.<p>

"You can't do this to him!"

"I'm sorry Luke; he left me with no choice."

"But, but he's innocent! This is all wrong! Just _tell_ them!"

Still not knowing for sure what happened that day, Noah replied defeatedly, "I can't."

Groaning, Luke pleaded with him, "Losing your memory doesn't make you guilty of murder!"

Margo intervened. "Both of you - interrogation room. _Now_.

Standing across the table from both boys, she laid the situation out for them. Acting on a tip, authorities searched Noah's car, and found incriminating documents. Specifically, a shift schedule stolen from the hospital that detailed Reid's hours for the week. There was also a photocopy of the appointment book Reid's receptionist kept. Noah would've known exactly where Reid would be, and when.

"This is a very serious situation, and unless you can give me a logical explanation at all..."

Noah's existing headache worsened, and he flinched at the physical pain attempting to remember brought on. "I just... I don't think I can remember anything."

Margo says, "I have to be honest with you, Noah. It looks bad. You could be facing some serious time."

Frantic, Luke grabbed for the last card in his deck. "Noah had nothing to gain by killing Reid! The only person who did was _your _brother-in-law!"

Incensed, Margo struggled to keep an even tone. "Luke, I understand that you're upset, but you need to go. If Noah makes bail, you can see him then. I've got to send him to lockup for now."

"Like _hell _you are," the words flew from Luke's mouth, sans censor _or _sense. "I won't let you scapegoat my boyfriend to save your sorry good-for-nothing-"

"If you continue to impede my work," Margo cut in hotly, "I will arrest you for obstruction of justice."

"Luke, let it go. Wait for Mr. Barrow," Noah implored him.

Luke would not be dissuaded. "Why don't you ask _your _sister why she's keeping information about Reid's murder from the police? Huh? Or ask your precious brother-in-law why the hell he broke into Reid's office after the fire."

Margo was caught between curiosity and rage. Luke was accusing her own family of involvement in Reid's death; was there any possibility? No; of course not. He was merely grasping for straws, trying to save his boyfriend.

"For the last time, leave now, or you'll be joining Noah in our deluxe accommodations tonight."

Well, _duh_. She might as well have told Luke to rob a bank. He took a breath, and let it rip.

"_Fuck_ you and your motherfucking department! I don't know one fucking person in this fucking town you haven't wrongly arrested. Where the _fuck _did you get your police training, anyway? Carousel Beauty College? Are you the fucking best this fucking town could get? How fucking sad is that?"

There. That should do it.

It did.

"Luke Snyder, you are under arrest for obstruction of justice..."

* * *

><p>Noah had been shocked by the swear vomit that had spewed from Luke's mouth. In the worst of their worst fights, he'd never heard his farm-raised boyfriend curse remotely like <em>that<em>. It did the trick, though, and now, Luke was bunking right alongside Noah in an Oakdale PD cell.

They were both trying to get some sleep while hoping Mr. Barrow was as good as Lucinda claimed, and got them the hell out of here soon. Noah turned his head to look at Luke on the bunk across from him. His boyfriend's eyes were closed, but Noah could tell he wasn't asleep, either. Just _trying _to be.

Noah had half a mind to walk over and see if Luke's bunk could fit them both, when he was suddenly assaulted by another excruciating flash of memory.

* * *

><p>Noah <em>had <em>gone to Reid's before the fire. He'd tried to reason with the man yet again. Reid wouldn't hear of it, and demanded he leave.

Instead, Noah pushed his way inside. Things quickly got heated, with Noah becoming angrier, and Reid seeming more agitated the longer Noah was there. Finally, sick of Reid's utter lack of response or explanation, Noah purposely baited him.

"If I stay in Oakdale, it would only take once. You get that, right? I get him in bed once, and he's mine again."

Though Reid's only answer was to stare him down, Noah could see something flash across his face. _They hadn't slept together_. Holy shit - in a million years, Noah hadn't expected _that_.

Sensing a weakness, in his fury, Noah was cruel. He went in for the kill. "Oh, I guess you _wouldn't _know, would you? Well, trust me. When he _wants _to be with you, Luke makes you feel like you're flying - like you can take on the world without breaking a sweat. Although, actually, we always break a sweat-"

Being on the receiving end of a punch he didn't see coming but should've was a new experience. And _damn_. Apparently Reid wasn't as averse as expected to risking his prized surgeon's hands, because Noah was sure he'd punched someone out before.

Noah's head was throbbing before his body had even hit the floor. But it was good. It was perfect, maybe. Because Noah had wanted to hit the guy (again) for so long, and now, he could.

* * *

><p>As he lay on the cell bunk, Noah watched the scene play out in his mind. He had picked himself up from the ground, ready to retaliate. Once again, Noah saw himself hitting Reid, but this time, he could also see that Reid fell backwards, hitting his head against a desk.<p>

The flashback ended before Noah could see what happened next. His stomach turned, hard, and tears rushed into his eyes. He couldn't have. He couldn't have.

Without thinking, Noah shot up from the bed. This attracted Luke's attention, and he regarded Noah with concern. Returning Luke's trusting gaze, it gutted him to know he was going to break Luke's heart with what he had to tell him.

* * *

><p>Agent Hawkes relayed news of the arrests to the man seated across from him. "Do you want us to intervene?"<p>

His companion considered it. "They're _both _under arrest?"

The agent nodded in confirmation.

The other man responded, "Leave it."

* * *

><p>Their lawyer had arrived, and Margo had allowed them to meet in the interrogation room for privacy. Barrow was confident he could get both men bail, and assured Noah the evidence against him was circumstantial. The lawyer then stepped out to make calls, leaving Luke and Noah alone.<p>

Luke detected the guilt and horror in Noah's expression, and correctly determined he must have remembered something; something bad. His stomach sank, and finally, unbelievably, he asked the question aloud, his voice breaking with emotion. "Noah, whatever it is, I need to know. So _please_, be honest with me; did you kill Reid?"

Noah was visibly scared now, his eyes tearing up. His reply stunned both Luke and himself. "Yes...," he answered, in disbelief at his own words.

Luke backed away, grappling to physically handle the weight of Noah's revelation. He couldn't, and fell back against the interrogation table. His tears spilling over, Noah admitted he not only went to Reid's and argued with him, but when the fight turned physical, Reid hit his head after Noah punched him.

Both men were shaken to the core. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry," Noah pleaded, without knowing what he was begging for. He didn't expect Luke to forgive him; he didn't even want something so undeserved.

Suddenly, the door swung open, and Margo appeared, surprised to find both boys crying. Her look of aggravation quickly turned to one of confusion. She knew she'd missed something integral to the case, and it burned her that she couldn't do a damn thing about it now.

"You're free to go." Offering no explanation, she walked out.

Noah followed, and Luke could tell he meant to confess. Luke quickly grabbed Noah's arm, and leaned in to make his point. "Not a word. Do you hear me?"

Noah looked down at him, confused, but he saw Luke was serious. He couldn't fathom why. Didn't Luke want Reid's killer put away?

Still, he did as Luke commanded, and said nothing. Lucinda and Mr. Barrow appeared, explaining that they'd gotten a judge out of bed in the middle of the night to set their bail. Lucinda was distressed by the traumatized looks on both boys' faces.

"What the hell is going on?"

"Not now, Grandmother. But thank you - I mean it. I'll call you tomorrow."

Grabbing Noah's hand, Luke pulled him out of the station. His car hadn't been towed yet, so he was able to drive them both home. Neither of them spoke during the drive, each of them still in shock.

* * *

><p>Arriving home, Luke wasted no time once they'd come through the front door.<p>

"All right. Sit down, and tell me again _exactly _what you think you saw."

Noah joined Luke on the couch as requested, but had no wish to relive it again. "I already told you! We were fighting. When I hit Reid back, he fell... his head hit the desk!"

"Noah, if that happened, what about the fire? Why would you do that?"

Noah speculated, "I must've gotten scared, and tried to cover up what I did. I just can't remember..."

"No."

"Luke, I know you don't wanna believe it-"

"NO. Not just that I don't wanna believe it. I _don't _believe it. Even if I made the huge leap and accepted that you accidentally killed Reid - and I don't - there's no way you'd lie about it. If you thought you'd hurt someone that badly, you'd have called for help. I know you. I _know _you," Luke finished emphatically.

"Even after the evidence they found? After everything I've told you? You still don't think it's possible-"

"No. More than that, I know it's _im_possible. I believe in you, Noah. No matter what's gone wrong between us in the past, I have never doubted who you are. And who you are is a good person; the best I've _ever _known. Now listen to me, and _hear _what I'm telling you. You. Didn't. _Do_. This. End of story."

Noah marveled at Luke's faith in him. Once upon a time, he resented it when he felt Luke didn't trust him. Now, he realized Luke trusted him even beyond the threshold that anyone could reasonably expect.

"I hope you're right," Noah finally said. "I hope to God you are. I would give anything to know I didn't hurt the man you love."

"You have hurt the man I love, sometimes," Luke answered honestly. "Sometimes, you're so hard on him. You don't trust in him like you should. You don't see his kindness, his compassion; how he puts everyone he loves ahead of himself."

Tears were rolling down Luke's cheeks as he gazed at Noah, with the most intense, adoring expression Noah had ever seen. "Luke?" He was afraid to ask; afraid to _hope_.

"I loved Reid - that was real. But not _just _him. And there is only one man who could ever be the love of my life; that's you, Noah. _Always _you."

This time, they didn't make it upstairs. Their need to be as close as possible outweighed all other considerations. Protestations of love mixed with exclamations of passion as they came together, quick, hard, and desperate.

"I love you, Luke," Noah whispered, holding his boyfriend in his arms, both of them wrapped in a blanket while lying on the sofa.

"I love you too, bubby," Luke answered softly, reverently. He felt safe and right within Noah's arms, knowing he was exactly where he belonged. He knew Noah felt the same peace cocooned within their love.

Until Noah suddenly froze. Neither of them had heard the door open. Luke looked up at Noah's face, finding a mixture of stark confusion and severe shock in his expression. He followed Noah's line of vision to the door, fearing what could have spooked his boyfriend so badly. As Luke's own eyes rested on the cause, Noah's upset suddenly paled in comparison to his own.

_"Reid?"_

* * *

><p>The four men sat in the Snyder living room, each in various states of shock. Luke and Noah, dressed now, took the couch. Understandably, Reid had no desire to sit <em>there<em>. He'd opted for one of the armchairs, instead, and sat in a convoluted stance, half-doubled over in a physical attempt to restrain his nausea.

Agent Hawkes sat in the opposite chair, on the other side of the couch. His own shock had been limited to walking in on two strangers in an intimate moment. Still, he felt for the witness he'd been protecting these last few weeks.

Sure, the doctor was kind of an ass at first glance. Yet, he'd gone to great lengths to do the right thing. It was too bad that this was what the poor schmuck had come home to.

Without a doubt, the most traumatized men in the room were sitting on the couch. Noah could barely wrap his mind around what he was seeing. An hour ago, he'd been fairly sure he _killed _Reid Oliver, and now the guy was sitting in the same room with him, staring alternately at Luke and Noah with a look that seemed equal parts rage and agony.

Noah couldn't even meet his gaze. It was ridiculous now, but he still felt guilty. Even knowing he hadn't killed Reid, and he hadn't coerced Luke to cheat (because, how the _hell _can you cheat on a dead guy?).

Noah was torn between wanting to comfort Luke, and being petrified to touch him. What if Luke pulled away? Now that Reid was back, what if Luke _went _back...

Worst off was Luke, who kept wavering between relief, confusion, happiness, guilt, and above all, _fury_. How could Reid _do _this to him? How could he let Luke think he was dead?

It was in this most excruciatingly uncomfortable environment that Agent Hawkes filled them in. When the heart meant for Chris Hughes had been reassigned to someone else, and Reid had to rush to Bay City to correct the mistake, his suspicions were aroused. He managed to find an ally in the Bay City hospital, Dr. Harris, who like himself felt procedures weren't being followed in the prioritizing of patients for organ donation.

What Reid and the other doctor uncovered were not just mistakes, but outright fraud. Doctors were taking kickbacks to move richer patients up the list, denying patients with greater need the organs they were due. Realizing the information they'd uncovered could get them killed, Reid reported to the HHS, who sent a federal agent to investigate.

Reid worked to obtain more proof, reporting to Agent Hawkes with every discovery. Though he'd been careful, eventually, someone in on the scam caught on. Reid began to receive hang-up calls, and he recognized them as warnings to stop digging.

Still, he needed to make one final visit to Bay City to acquire information from his contact there. Unbeknownst to him, Dr. Harris had come to Reid's house with the documents, worrying that someone in Bay City knew what they were up to. He must've been concerned their communications were being tapped, because he hadn't let Reid know about his visit ahead of time.

Agent Hawkes explained that Harris had probably broken in to wait for Reid's return, and when a hit man arrived to kill Reid, murdered Harris instead, not realizing the mistake. Once he'd heard about the explosion, Hawkes intercepted Reid on his way home from the hospital, convincing him it was best to stay dead until they could apprehend all those responsible. Reid argued that Luke should be brought into custody with him, but Hawkes pointed out that if Luke disappeared, the criminals would likely realize their mistake, and hide the evidence of the organ scam to avoid prosecution.

Reid grudgingly agreed to stay dead for a short period of time, telling Hawkes he'd better work _fast_. The agent had been true to his word. With Reid dead, Hawkes made sure the DNA confirmation on the body gave the 'right' result, and quickly fashioned a cover story for Harris' absence. The man wasn't a workaholic like Reid, so it was easy to devise an impromptu vacation for him without attracting much notice.

All that remained was to find the Oakdale contact for this criminal network. Reid had his suspicions, based upon an incident with a doctor who'd moved one of his patients up the donor list without Reid's approval. Following that lead, Hawkes watched the man, and sure enough, gathered enough evidence to confirm Reid's suspicions: It was Chris Hughes.

Luke couldn't comprehend it. "Wait. That doesn't make sense! The heart meant for Chris was almost reassigned!"

Hawkes nodded. "Exactly. Turns out, Chris had gotten in league with them to get a heart in the first place. But when people started asking questions about how he'd gotten so high up the list, the Bay City doctors tried to claim it was a clerical error, and bumped him back down. Of course, that only attracted _more _notice, and a personal visit from Dr. Oliver to retrieve the heart. They gave it to him rather than face further scrutiny, but it was too late. Reid knew something was up."

Listening to this incredible tale - even by Oakdale standards - Noah finally started to get a grip on things. He gathered the courage to look Reid in the eye.

"That's why you were blackmailing me," he said. It wasn't a question.

Reid nodded once. That was all the answer he planned to give the little punk. Noah continued his train of thought.

"These people who were after you - you thought they might go after Luke?"

While Luke gasped, Reid refused to elaborate. Agent Hawkes stepped in.

"The risk was even greater after the attack. There was always the chance they'd figure out it wasn't Dr. Oliver they'd killed. They could've gone after Mr. Snyder trying to find Reid's whereabouts, or any information he might have hidden."

Noah addressed Reid again. "You wanted me around, so Luke wouldn't be alone if something happened to you. And after the explosion - you knew if we thought you died, I'd stay close...," Noah trailed off, seeing the obvious thought in Reid's eyes: _not THAT close_.

Luke's eyes closed. _Oh, shit_. Opening them, he looked to Reid, apologetically at first. Seeing the revulsion that greeted him, though, Luke became angry.

"How was I supposed to know? Your house exploded! I nearly died trying to save you. So did Noah! I saw them wheel your body from the house - what was I supposed to think?"

Reid had heard enough, and shot up from the chair. "NOTHING, Luke! You weren't supposed to think anything! You know what else you weren't supposed to do? Fall into bed with your ex!"

None of the other three men had seen this Reid Oliver. He was pissed, he was disgusted, but most of all, he was _hurt_. And really, Luke couldn't argue the point. Reid hadn't been "dead" a week before he was right back in Noah's bed.

Reid ran a hand over his face, as if he could somehow wipe away the trauma of the past two weeks. Finally, he made a decision. He couldn't begin to determine if he and Luke could salvage their relationship with an audience on the sidelines. They needed to be alone to talk this out.

"If you want _any _chance for us, you'll leave with me right now."

Luke didn't even register what he was saying, until Reid held his hand out, expecting Luke to take it. Wanting them to leave together. To his left, Luke could hear the small intake of breath.

It was Noah. Noah, striving to hold his tongue. Noah, trying not to influence Luke's decision. Noah, wanting Luke's happiness more than his own. In that smallest of sighs, Luke understood. The only hand he would be holding, the only man he wanted taking him from this house to find their life together, was the same one he'd always want forever with. It was Noah.

Seconds that seemed too long passed as Reid stood, hand outstretched and empty. Luke didn't want to look him in the eye; he didn't want to see the pain he knew would be there. But he owed Reid that much, so he did.

When their eyes met, Luke watched the comprehension dawn. Slowly, Reid lowered his hand. Noah turned to look at Luke, unsure he was interpreting things right. Just so there could be no doubt, Luke offered his own hand - to Noah, who didn't need even seconds to consider, grasping it immediately.

Watching the exchange, Reid felt the air of inevitability surrounding it. This time, when he spoke, the fire was gone. "It was always going to end like this, wasn't it?"

Not trusting himself to speak, Luke said nothing. That was answer enough. "Somehow," Reid went on, "even knowing that doesn't make it suck any less."

"I'm sorry," Luke said, finding his voice. And he truly was. Luke had been the victim of Reid's fake death, but Reid had been the victim of Luke's real denial; that lie he'd told them both that said he could move on from Noah.

With a nod, Reid acknowledged Luke's words, though Luke doubted he forgave him. Then, more quietly than Reid had done anything in all the time Luke had known him, Reid left. No recriminations, no parting shots; he simply walked out the door like a mere mortal, not the invincible neurosurgeon who'd even cheated death.

Hawkes rose quickly from his chair. "Chris Hughes has been arrested for his part in the transplant fraud, as well as for planting those documents in your truck, Mr. Mayer. We suspect he also had something to do with trashing your apartment, trying to make you appear out-of-control to the police force investigating you. Dr. Hughes will be transferred to a federal detention center in the morning. I'll keep you both updated on the case as developments unfold."

Hurriedly, he took off in an effort to catch up to Reid. Luke and Noah simultaneously suspected the agent had feelings for the doctor. Hawkes seemed like a good man. Luke hoped he could console Reid, provided Reid let him.

Now, Luke turned his full attention to Noah. They were alone.

Noah didn't know what to say. So he said that. Incredibly, Luke _laughed_.

At Noah's confused look, Luke explained. "I'll bet you don't. That's why they don't make cards for this occasion. 'Sorry your boyfriend came back from the dead and caught us in bed together' was a surprisingly poor seller."

Noah couldn't help it. He snorted in laughter. Leave it to Luke to sum up the most ridiculous situation in the history of the world so succinctly.

Noah quipped back, "We weren't in _bed_."

"Well, this is true," Luke agreed. They shared one of their dork-smiles; the one where each of them knows they're being idiotic, but are just happy they're doing it together. More seriously, Luke went on, "I just... wow. I don't have words for what just happened here. This is _crazy_."

After a moment, they simultaneously added, "even for Oakdale!"

Smiling at the shared thought, they clenched their still-joined hands firmly.

"Through everything that happened, you never stopped believing in me," Noah began, swallowing down the lump in his throat. "When you had every reason in the world to suspect me, to _hate _me, you pulled me that much closer. You stood up for me; you protected me. _That _feeling is what I can't put into words - what that means to me is indescribable, Luke."

Luke smirked, "You did a pretty good job, anyway. But it goes two ways. You planned a memorial for a man you hated so I wouldn't have to do it. You listened to me cry over his death. You ran into a burning building trying to save us both. You stuck by my side at every turn, even when I screamed and shouted and took everything out on you. What _that _means to _me_ is indescribable; what _you _mean to me is everything, Noah."

Beginning to choke up, Noah knew further words would be difficult to form, so he efficiently settled for just two.

"Same here."

-End-

* * *

><p>Apologies for what probably feels like an abrupt end to this fic. I lost the last third or so of the story, and had to scramble to re-write it in time for Nuke Big Bang. Originally, there was more interaction between Reid and Agent Hawkes (though we didn't know it was Reid he was interacting with), and Reid and Luke had an official break-up talk of sorts. But I ran out of time to recreate it. Hope this is still okay.<p>

Most importantly, if you made it this far, you deserve to watch **solostrightnow**'s *amazing* trailer for this story, which is SO MUCH BETTER than the actual fic. Seriously, this looks like an actual movie. Ridic! To get the URL, combine youtube dot com (as you would actually type it into the address bar) with /watch?v=x_s70wJ3Zvc - Enjoy!

And finally... Reid, my poor bb - I'm gonna make this up to you. Ima write you a schmoopy LuRefic, k?


End file.
